Flawed In My Image
by Suou no Hanaya
Summary: "My Orpheus's specialty is singing poems and playing lyre. Would you sacrifice a bard at the front lines?" This is the story of someone who didn't wish to fight. Femslash/Yuri.
1. Semota

**Recto: Minako**

 **Capitulum I: Semota**

"Can you do this?" Uttered the boy, as he brought the gun to his head and pointed it at his temple.

 _'Why? Why would I be thinking of something like this right now?'_ Shaking my head, I aimed the pistol at the glob of darkness and blades that quivered frenetically before me.

"Stop! That... That's not a weapon!" Said Yukari, trying to rise from the floor, unsuccessfully.

The boy reappeared in my mind, and in innocent grin, he repeated the motion of pointing the gun to his own temple. His eyes sparkled in daring delight.

My hands were shaking. I gritted my teeth as I felt a distressed feeling overtaking me. The strange creature before me halted its quivering and flipped the mask it carried in one of its hands. Previously the mask showed a neutral expression, now it smiled deviously. The remaining of its multiple arms dropped down to the ground simultaneously, the figure seemed to sink into the ground when suddenly, propelled by its hands, it leapt into the air, approaching me at incredible speed. Powerless, Yukari screamed.

I felt a cold, hard circle pressing on my head. Unconsciously, I had brought the gun to my temple. Despair commanded my body and I pulled the trigger expecting the end.

-/-

"You saw those creatures. It's our job to defeat them." His face glowed with excitement.

"What about the police?"

"They don't have the **potential**." Replied The Chairman.

"We've prepared an Evoker for you, we'd like you to lend us your strength." Said Mitsuru, as she opened a case with a gun inside.

A smile in her face, no, more like a smirk, of someone who knows they won, someone who always wins. The Chairman had a serious expression, but one that seemed gentle and ease-hearted. Yukari looked distressed, as though in a hurry to leave, clearly bothered by something.

"No." Said I. _'I don't want this._ ' Thought I.

A startled look on Mitsuru's face. On all their faces.

The Chairman was the first to recover, and subsequently said: "It's alright, you'll have plenty of time to think about it during the course of this year."

Looking him in the eye, I announced: "I said no." Acknowledging that, his expression quickly turned into one of disappointment.

Akihiko turned around briskly and walked away. Mitsuru bit her lip and looked angry, although her eyes were fixed at the wall to her left. Yukari stared at me, her face, neutral, as though she was trying to read my thoughts.

"I'm going back to my room." Said I, lowly, as I stood up and left. Behind me there was only silence.

-/-

"Why did you? Haven't you ever thought about being a hero?"

I glared at him.

"Leave her." Said Yukari, sternly.

Junpei turned towards her and started: "But, Yuka-"

"If she can sleep soundly every night knowing that people are dying because of Shadows..." She paused for dramatic effect and continued in an even more accusing tone, staring me down: "There's no way someone like that could ever be a hero."

Her contempt was almost palpable. "Indeed." Uttered I. "I could never think of myself so highly, unlike you guys."

"Tch."

"Whatever."

-/-

Where would there be a place as noiseless as possible?

Where would there be a place as noiseless as possible in a school?

 _'Of course.'_ Thought I.

"Of course." Whispered I.

 _'The library, of course.'_

I gathered my material and stored them in my bag. With it, I made my way through the labyrinthine halls towards the library. Once inside, I noticed it wasn't empty, but it also wasn't full. Just a handful of people, but at last, quietude. I'd never been here before, so I decided to peruse its shelves for a moment. There there were every kind of didactic category imaginable. _'Science.'_ Read I. ' _No_.' Onto the next. _'History.' 'Interesting. But I haven't got the time.' 'Kanji.' 'Ugh.' 'Literature.' 'Aha! I could spend days here!'_ I take a peek at my wristwatch. Time, as always isn't on my side.

I sat in front of an unoccupied table with a book in hand. The simple act of opening it and reading it, flipping through every page, somehow, to me, it's magical, _'surely there is no greater feeling than this.'_ Thought I. ' _Surely, like this, I can forget whatever happenings that transpired in the parallel world, surely, I can, surely, I hope.'_

-/-

"Hey, Minako, are you in any clubs?" Asked he.

"Yes." Replied I.

Kenji narrowed his eyes suspiciously. After thirty long seconds, he uttered, somberly: "...You're a really bad liar."

"I'm not, you just had foreknowledge of the situation and you made use of it." Explained I.

"Fore-what? A-Anyways, I know you're not in any clubs because I see you all the time in the library."

"The library? You go there a lot?"

"'Course! Best place for a nap!"

I sighed and didn't even bother hiding my disappointment. "I should've known."

"Hey, don't look so glum, you're making me feel bad!"

"Well, I'm going there right now to actually read something, so..." I looked away.

"Wait, I got kind of a favour to ask." Said he, slowly.

"Kind of a favour?"

"You see, my friend's on the volley team, and they're just one girl short, can you please...?" He didn't even complete the request, he just joined his hands and lowered his head in mock begging.

"Why, Kenji, I thought we were kindred spirits, you know how much I despise extraneous activity."

He raised his head quicker than lightning and his eyes sparkled in fiery glee. Smirking, he said: "You know I got your back, Minako, because actually, you don't have to play a single game!"

My surprise overtook my facial features. I arched my head back and repeated in hurried breath: "Don't have to play a single game?"

He added in quick succession: "And you won't have to train a single pass!"

I proceeded to repeat it, similarly mannered: "I won't have to train a single pass?"

"You'll be a bench warmer! You can take a book and read all day! It's great! It's sensational!" By now Kenji was foaming at the mouth and screeching like a depraved lunatic. "It-It-It-It's bonus points in your extracurricular activities for free! Free! FREE!" He then fell on his desk, exhausted, tears, snot, and saliva dripping from its edges. Then he snored loudly. The poor guy fainted from all his overexcitement.

 _'Gross!'_ Thought I. _'But... Genius!_ '

I stood up and made my way towards the volleyball court, determined to get this once in a lifetime opportunity of being a bench warmer, and never worry about my PE grades ever again!

"I wish to enter this team. Is there any qualification?" All the players stared dumbfounded at me. I tilted my head slightly to the side. "Am I too late?"

Almost at the same time they all recovered from whatever shock they were in, and approached me, smiling, one of them saying: "Great! Now we finally have all the required members! You're welcome! Very much welcome! And thank you!"

"O-Okay..." Uttered I, a tad discomposed. _'Hopefully they won't rely on me that much.'_ Hoped I.

"Hey, call the captain! Let's play a celebratory game!" One of the players said, excitedly.

"All right!" The others responded in unison.

"I'll just watch for today, is that all right?" Asked I, nervously.

"Sure."

They all scrambled to their places, some performed stretches, while I made my way to the bench. As I sat down, I deeply exhaled. _'My new favourite place._ ' Mulled I. _'Just you and me, bench-y, hopefully for a long time...'_ I was starting to calm down when two girls entered the court abruptly. _'I guess they brought their captain back, I should later take the time to explain to her the situation and let her know I won't be playing much, hopefully ever.'_

When I looked up again, she stood right in front of me. The Captain of the Volleyball Team. And she introduced herself. And she thanked me for joining, and she welcomed me to the team, and she smiled to me, **sweetly** , and her lips continued to move, hypnotically, and her lashes continued to bat, charmingly, and her eyes continued to pierce me, deeply, her warm expression, soothing, her imponent disposition, striking, her glow... wait, she glowed? A light outlining her body, with every hand motion, an iris of colours blinking in and out of focus. Someone called her, she heeded it. She stepped in line and served, then defended every attack elegantly, passed every ball beautifully, moved ever so perfectly. The zone of yells and cheers didn't reach my mind, the only point my eyes were fixed in was her. The only figure I registered was hers, and the only voice I heard was hers.

A sharp inhale and I'm back to reality, my ears are flooded with the sounds from the game, the other girl's figures are shining lights obstructing my vision, so much it gives me a headache, I'm sweating and hyperventilating as if I was playing myself. After a minute, my breathing is stabilised and my brain makes sense of what just occurred.

The Captain... Rio Iwasaki... entranced me.

The most afflicting sensation I'd ever felt in my life.

I was excited. I was shaking with adrenaline.

I needed physical stimuli. My brain demanded it.

Without thought, I stressed my vocal chords: "Hey!" Yelled I. They stopped. All at once they interrupted their movements and looked my way. The only sound I could hear was my heart's. "Anyone wanna swap?"


	2. Scilicet

**Capitulum II: Scilicet**

Dead of night and I was awake. Dead of night and I couldn't sleep. Dead of night and I couldn't think of anything. Except her. I longed to know more about her. I longed to hear her melodious voice again. I longed to see her smiling teeth again. I longed... I longed... I fell asleep.

At last, Wednesday came, and with it, another day of volleyball practice.

They trained passes and serves extensively. I joined in to avoid scrutiny, giving my best at every exercise. I wasn't that bad and nobody noticed.

I approached Rio after practice. "Nice work today, Captain." Said I, excitedly.

"It's a lot of fun, isn't it?" She smiled. "The others say I work 'em to the bone, though."

I exhaled. "It is tiring. But it's worth it." Said I, admiring her figure.

"Worth it?" She tilted her head to the side.

"To lose weight." Revealed I.

She made a pensive expression. "Certainly, though I have to say, you're pretty slim, you don't have to worry about that."

"Well, it never hurt to try new things."

"So you are new to volley." She raised a finger. "Team work is the most important thing."

"And the hardest, I bet, I mean, how are you supposed to deduce what the others are thinking?" Asked I.

"As long as everyone's focused on the game, it shouldn't be too hard. But being on the same frame of mind eases things up considerably. And for that, all you have to do is get to know them."

A team member approached us and asked: "Hey, you girls interested on going on a mixer?" _'Perfect chance!'_

Rio frowned disapprovingly. "Group date? Not my thing." Then walked away. _'And she just walks away?_ '

She looked at me expecting a response. "Not interested." Uttered I. She walked away.

-/-

When days mingle into a stream, a same sided, omnidirected flowing stream of repetition and obligation, when the dullness of human speech that enters through my ears and leaves when I sigh, when the sky has formed high above the same constellations of stars by night, of clouds by day and of sun rays spreads by morning, when the sound of steps and giggles, and the bells and pencil strokes are all resounding in conformity to the set routine that was scheduled long ago by these greek historians, I can feel, so well, I can see, so clear, whether it rises from within me or when it appears in the illuminated realm of physicality, to me it imparts the sense of dread personified, a being, so like me, it exists as my twin only in an aura-like haze invisible to all but **me** , the **me** cursed with hopelessness of a time that may come when a day might not end.

 _'Would I be then trapped in this endless cycle of nights and days?'_

"Hey." I was pulled from my thoughts when a voice called me. It was Junpei's. "Just so you know, Akihiko's at the hospital, getting a checkup. He called me earlier, and asked me to bring him something. Turns out I won't make it because I have, well... stuff to do here."

"You mean detention for sleeping in class?" Yukari emerged from behind me.

"H-Hey, that's none of your business!" Exclaimed he.

"And neither is **this** to her!" Said Yukari, then eyeing me.

"Yukari." Started I, annoyed.

"You made it clear you're not one of us, so that's exactly how I'll treat you!" Said she.

We glared at each other for several seconds.

Junpei sighed loudly and stated, irritated: "Look, I couldn't care less about your beef, just take this to Akihiko in my stead, ok?" He left the stack of papers on my desk and walked away.

"W-Wait! But who...?" Started Yukari. Then she turned towards me with her usual furious expression and grabbed the papers from the desk.

I got up and followed her. "What?" Uttered she, without looking back.

"I'm seeing this through. I trust you as much as you trust me." Said I.

She halted and glared back. I stopped and returned the stare. "Hurry up." Uttered she, and then resumed her pace.

We spoke not a word until we got to the hospital.

"Blast it, he didn't even say the room number." Muttered Yukari.

She inquired the number at reception and headed straight to the stairs, not even bothering to clue me in, _'I don't care, let's just get this over with.'_ I followed in haste.

Inside the room, a shifty-looking man dressed in an overcoat was sitting in the chair beside the bed. The both of us stopped in our tracks.

"Is this the right room?" I asked Yukari.

"Of course it is! ...I think." Replied she. "Is this Akihiko's room?" She asked the man.

He stands up and utters: "Tch... I don't have time for this shit," in complete disregard to our presence.

I move away when he motions towards the door behind me and leaves the room.

Immediately after his departure, I hear a voice outside saying: "See ya." Its owner enters the room, it's Akihiko.

"Senpai! Wh-Who was that?" Asked Yukari.

With stern eyes, Akihiko responds: "An informant who knows people who've been suffering from cases of the Apathy Syndrome." My face betrayed my confusion. Noticing it, Akihiko says: "Minako? What are you doing here?" He looks from right to left, surveying the room. "And where's Junpei?"

"He couldn't come." Said I.

"Anyhow, here's what you asked, senpai." Said Yukari, handing him the stack of papers. "What is it, anyway?"

"Thanks." Uttered he, leafing through the document. "It's class info."

"Classified information?" Enquired Yukari. She looked at me abruptly and said: "Minako, do you mind? We're discussing business."

I narrowed my eyes at her in anger. Akihiko chuckled lightly. Yukari was at a loss.

"No, I meant it's information on a class. Class 2-E to be precise."

"Class 2-E on Gekkoukan? Why is that important?"

"Haha... Now that's classified. Even for you, Yukari." He turned around and said: "See you guys later!" And left the room.

"All this for nothing. I'm nowhere closer to the truth." Muttered Yukari.

"Relax." Said I. She looked at me alarmedly. "Look, I'm not sorry I'm a pacifist," I walked towards the door and turned to her "remember when I was asked to lend my strength? I said no, but that doesn't mean I can't help in any other way."

"As long as you're not in danger?" Her words were like venom being spat unto me.

I took my mental shot. "That's right." Spoke I. Yukari's scornful gaze only intensified. "I want to feel safe. Everybody does. Do you want proof? My Orpheus's specialty is singing poems and playing lyre. Would you sacrifice a bard at the front lines?"

Yukari's angry expression didn't dissipate, neither did she speak. She only frowned. I don't know why. Disappointment? Pity? Indifference? Once again I'd done my best with what I was given. I did my best with my words and analogies, that was all I did, and all I could ever do. The enlightenment of understanding depends solely on the listener.


	3. Vinculum

**Capitulum III: Vinculum**

I opened my eyes for the thousandth time. Then I closed them. Then I opened them again. I couldn't sleep. The others had just left on a mission. A mission to kill a Shadow. Supposedly, one so strong, it could destroy the entire city. And I didn't go with them. Of course. There would be no place for me. I wanted no place in it. But alas, I was awake, in the Dark Hour, alas, I was worried, alas, I felt guilt... regret. _'The_ _ **potential**_ _... why did I have to have it? Why me?'_ But I chose to stay, I chose to stay my hand, I chose not to fight. I chose to not get involved, still, I feared, I feared for them, ordinary students like me, it saddens me that they have no choice, or they think they don't. I wanted to prove them, and myself, that there's always a choice, that free will is your greatest power, and the only one impossible to ever lose. And in the end what did I do? I accepted the Evoker. Just in case, they said. Just in case we all die and you're the only one left. Because you're the only one who didn't want to play hero. _'If it comes to that, what will you do?'_

Even as I wondered, I imagined a world in which I was forced to fight. I imagined the kind of person I'd be. And what kind of things I'd think.

-/-

During and after practice, all the girls could talk about was the supposed group date they all went to the other day. Rio noticed their slacking off. Kenji arrived while she was reprimanding them.

"Now, now, pretty girls don't fight." Started he, raising his arms.

"Don't interfere in what you don't know, Kenji." Uttered Rio.

"Yeah, how about you clue me in, then, why are you fighting?"

"They were slacking off!" She pointed in accusation.

"We were just caught up in our own business, that's all. We're not to blame if Rio doesn't have a shred of love in her cold, black heart." One of the girls responded.

Kenji's brows furrowed. "Rio...?" Questioned he.

"It's absolute bunk, this love thing. It's a fat load of trouble, with zero in the way of reward. Don't tell me you know better, Kenji!" Said she, angrily.

He lowered his head and stared at the ground. "Of course... of course I do..." Whispered he. He looked upwards and declared: "I too... I too have someone I love!"

"What?" Gasped Rio.

"Whoa!" The others started murmuring.

"One day I'll tell Ka- One day I'll tell her!" He turned towards Rio and said: "You see, love is something that just happens, whether you want it or not!"

Rio froze in place. Kenji marched off with his head held high and the others followed suit.

I, too started to walk, then stopped a ways beside Rio. I saw her startled face turn into one of fury. Then she turned to me and uttered: "Are you going to tell me the error of my ways as well?"

It pained me to see her in such a state. "You know, I went through something similar." Started I.

She scoffed. "I doubt it." She showed a bitter expression.

I looked away and continued: "I live in a dorm where everybody acts in a certain way, when I arrived, they tried to impose their customs on me, but I refused, and because of that I was shunned. I was treated like a reject for months, but I didn't give in, and even though we were different, there were people that eventually understood and respected me." I lied. "Do you still doubt me?" I looked her in the eye.

After a moment of contemplation, she asked in a weak voice: "How did you deal with it... being alone?"

"I opened my heart to the right people." Said I, somberly. I left without waiting for a response.

-/-

It was in early June when I started experiencing a strange disturbance. I started hearing voices. No, not voices. One. One sole voice. I made sure it was in my head before I started to panic. Such a fearful chill I'd feel at the back of my neck coursing down my spine every time the vocal wail made itself manifest, supposedly inside my own mind. _'Am I going crazy?_ ' Thought I. _'Have I finally snapped?'_ Thought I. _'Should I tell this to anyone? Should I tell this to Mitsuru? What if it was somehow related to the boy I'd seen months ago when Orpheus awakened and then never again?'_

It was late at night when I, seemingly out of nowhere, wondered if I wouldn't be able to summon Orpheus himself to help me. The force of this idea grew stronger by the second and before I could reject or comply, I was already preparing myself for the deed.

The clock froze as it struck twelve. Time froze as the Earth reached its ordained position in space. Space warped in and out of itself and the stars lost their light, as if their deaths had all at once reached our perceptible environment and everything stood still, even the molecules in the air. Everyone, except those with the **potential**.

I grabbed the Evoker I'd left on the desk and shot myself in the head. One hundred lightning volts electrified the grey matter in my brain, every vein in my body pulsated with hot, rapid flowing blood. My palpebrae glued to my skin, keeping my eyes open, and agonising stinging pain became constant in my optical nerves.

He appeared before me. Orpheus. As clear as light and as solid as flesh. His face was immutable, like that of a mask's.

* * *

"In my rejected state

And feared before me thus

I chose to now partake

Concerning both of us

This matter in one's mind

Thy mind and mine are one

Assuredly I'll say

From trees beneath the sun

* * *

To one that claims today

To serve one's wicked whims

For even guarded ways

Not running from one's sins

For Thou art one like I

Thou knowest thy cleverness

Next time don't flee nor hide

Approach one's mournfulness"

* * *

I blinked and he was gone. I understood his message perfectly. "Thank you, Orpheus."

-/-

Saturday. The bell rang loudly and the professor shouted the homework. The students gathered their belongings in a hurry, anxious to start their lives outside of school. Yet, I didn't move. I waited for the sign. I waited for the **voice**. I knew it would come. It always does. The farther I am from my homeroom, the fainter it sounds. And I needed to hear it. I needed to pinpoint its source. It wasn't in my head, I wasn't going crazy. There was someone, there was actually someone calling for help from beyond. _'Beyond? Beyond what?'_ I asked myself. _'All I know is that it's not in this world, so where could it be?' 'Tartarus, maybe. Maybe I should've asked someone for help, after all, like Akihiko or Mitsuru... or even Yukari.'_ But I didn't. I hadn't. Maybe I was tired of being useless. Maybe I believed this was a task only I could perform, after all I seemed to be the only one hearing the voice. Maybe I wanted it to be like this. Maybe I desired this. Maybe I welcomed it.

The mournful sound began. The wailful voice. No words could be made out, nor anything else that could help me identify it. I quickly left the room and turned right, towards the stairs. The intensity of the sound increased. I went up to the roof. The sound weakened. I stopped immediately and retraced my steps, going down to the first floor instead. The intensity increased once again. I could feel I was getting closer. I continued heading towards the swimming pool, then I halted. I heard sobs to my left. A girl was crying in the courtyard. _'From trees beneath the sun.'_ I approached her.

The leaves cracked under my feet, the girl tensed her shoulders and muffled her crying when she noticed my presence.

"Do you need help? Are you okay?" Asked I, concern apparent in my voice.

She sniffed. "I'm fine. Leave me."

"I just want to help." I moved towards her.

"You can't help me! No one can!" She faced me, irritated.

I looked up to the sky. "Were you called here too?" Asked I, calmly.

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?" Asked she, hurriedly.

"Didn't you hear the calling? I think it came from here."

"You..." Her breathing accelerated. "Yes... I heard..." She cast her gaze downwards. "I..." She raised her hands in front of her face.

I took another step closer to her and softly asked: "Do you know who it is?"

"It's... It's..." She took her face in her palms and shed more tears.

I touched her right arm lightly. She removed her hands from her face.

"Fuuka..." She whispered between sobs.

I gently placed my hand on her cheek and raised her head. Looking inside her eyes, I spoke: "Tell me... Tell me who that is."

She stared at me for a while. "...You... You can't tell anyone..." She exhaled. "I know what I did was wrong, but... but... I'm scared... I'm scared what'll happen if they find out."

"I won't tell anyone. I swear."

"I... I killed her." Uttered she.


	4. Luella

**Capitulum IV: Luella**

I fell to my knees. "You what...?" Uttered I.

"She... she's dead isn't she? Isn't she!?" Spoke she, disconcertedly.

"I don't know! I don't know..." I shook my head in fright.

The girl kneeled, joined her hands together and looked up at the sky. "I'm sorry, Fuuka! Please don't hate me! Please leave me alone!"

"It's not her... It's not Fuuka's voice."

"Of course it is! It has to be! What else could it be!?" Said she, agitatedly.

"It's yourself..."

"What?"

"It's yourself! It's your Persona..."

"What are you saying?" She repeated angrily: "What are you saying!?"

I stood up and retrieved the Evoker from the belt beneath my shirt. "Look at me." I pointed it to my head.

She shrieked in fear. "You're crazy...!"

"Look at me!" Yelled I. I pulled the trigger.

A distorted image appeared before me. The humanoid silhouette was displayed in a corrupt, shattered state, probably seeming more monstrous than it really was.

The girl's mouth stood agape. After a couple seconds, Orpheus's image vanished but she remained in a shocked state.

"Get it together!" Hollered I. Her frightened pupils trembled as they stared at me. "You have one, too." Said I, calmer.

I stood there waiting until she recovered. Eventually she calmed down and stood up with difficulty. I decided not to help her, or move at all. I wouldn't be able to stop her if she ran away and told someone what just happened. So I remained frozen in place.

"Is there anyone else?" Asked she.

"Yes, there are many others." Answered I.

She sighed. "All right. Tell me about it. Tell me how to save Fuuka."

"...I think she got lost in this place we call Tartarus... If so, it's possible to go in and rescue her."

"Then let's do it." Said she, determinedly.

I pursed my lips. "Tartarus is a very dangerous place, if we're not careful we may end up just like Fuuka."

"Then we'll be careful. I'll follow your lead." She smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "We could go to the dorm and tell the others about it." Started I.

"No!" Said she, firmly. "You promised. No one must know."

"The others could help."

"No!" Repeated she. "We're gonna do this. Only we."

"What if we're not strong enough?" Asked I.

"Then we'll die trying! You can't break your word."

"Of course I can." Muttered I. "But I won't." I added in haste.

"So?" Uttered she, impatiently.

I looked to my right, racking my brain thinking of a plan. "Let's hide." Uttered I.

-/-

"Why the fuck are we hiding in the broom closet?" Uttered Natsuki.

"Shh. Just a bit longer!" Whispered I, while checking through the interior window.

"Minako... can I see your gun?"

"Not now!"

"Won't my Persona appear if I shoot myself with it?"

"That's not how it works."

She frowned. "I think we can leave now, I mean, it's a quarter past eleven."

"All right, but let's be quiet."

"She can't have gone that far from the gym... I think. For now, we'll just have to wait. In the meantime, you should try invoking your Persona."

"All right." She extended her hand expectantly.

"I said, that's not how it works. You must first mentally visualise your Persona before you even touch an Evoker."

She narrowed her eyes and pouted before saying: "I have no idea how my Persona looks like."

"Hmm... An extension of the self... I guess it would look like you...?"

"What? But you don't look like yours at all, besides, wasn't that a man?"

Realisation hit me amidst my half-chuckle. "I guess... it's not about appearance. It's more like your mental image of yourself."

She seemed to mull over my advice, then said: "I hope it's a girl... I hope it's a pretty girl."

I sighed, vexed. Then I heard a noise.

"What was that?" Said Natsuki, startled.

"Sounds like steps. C'mon!" I grabbed her by the arm and hurried towards the storage closet.

Once inside I turned the knob to lock the door.

"There was no one here the other day..." Whispered Natsuki.

"But now there is!" Said I, irritated. "Who could it be?"

The steps seemed to be gradually coming closer. I crouched down and placed my index finger before my lips in a signal for Natsuki to stay as still as possible. The closet slowly grew more illuminated as the steps neared us. _'Whoever's out there has a torch.'_ Reasoned I. _'Please don't look through the window, please don't look through the window, please don't look through the window.'_ I repeated mentally in prayer.

A noise right behind me, on the door. They tried to turn the knob, but it was locked.

"Anyone in there?" A male voice. I held my breath. "Natsuki?" Uttered the man. "Minako?" He called my name. _'Why?_ ' "I know you're in there, it's me, open the door!"

 _'What the fuck are you saying?_ ' I screamed internally.

"Minako, there's a tracker inside the Evoker!" Uttered he.

 _'What?_ ' "What?" Shouted I. I stood up briskly and opened the door.

"Akihiko!"

"Hey." Said he, non-chalantly.

"Minako!" Uttered Natsuki.

"You heard him. It seems I was being tracked."

"It's for your own good. Anyway, I know what's going on."

"There's nothing going on." Said Natsuki, firmly.

"Save it for the authorities, Moriyama, your comrades ratted on you, exposed your true identity, you should be ashamed!"

"No! That was not my intention! I never meant to hurt Fuuka this way!" Natsuki fell to the ground.

"Natsuki..."

"We need to leave now, the Dark Hour is close at hand." Said Akihiko.

"What about Fuuka? We need to save Fuuka!" Natsuki grew agitated.

"Fuuka Yamagishi..." Akihiko scoffed. "That one's already a lost cause."

Natsuki's lips trembled in rage as she slowly got back on her feet. "How dare you! You won't stop me!" She leapt to her right and purposely bumped into me, throwing me down and snatching away my Evoker, then she broke into sprint towards the staircase.

"Hey, hold it!" Yelled Akihiko. "Damn it!" He chased after her into the school.

"Ouch..." Groaned I, as I got up. I looked at my wristwatch. **11:51**. _'He won't make it in time. And now I don't have an Evoker anymore. I could just leave the school. I'd be safe, but... But Fuuka..._ ' My palm formed a fist as I thought about running away. I saw Natsuki's weeping expression in my mind and I felt a sadness beyond my imagining digging a hole through my heart. _'No... No, I can't... I can't break my word._ '


	5. In Hora Tenebrosa

**Capitulum V: In Hora Tenebrosa**

 **11:53**. I chased after Akihiko and Natsuki.

 **11:56**. I checked the rooms that weren't locked in the second floor.

 **11:57**. I heard noises coming from the first floor.

 **11:58**. The gym door was open and Natsuki's screams filled the hall.

 **11:59**.

"Moriyama... You're gonna kill us all, do you hear me!? We can't save anyone because we'll all be dead! And it is all your fault! All your fault!" Akihiko flails his torch around the dark court.

"Shut up!" I entered the gym. "Natsuki, I'm here! The Dark Hour will begin in a minute! Come close to me!"

Natsuki leaps from behind a stack of chairs and presses her body to my back, gripping my shoulders tightly.

Akihiko aims his torch at my face and motions towards us.

"Get back, Akihiko!" Uttered I.

"I'm sorry I pushed you and stole your Evoker." Whispered Natsuki.

"It's okay, Natsuki, let's continue with our plan, we'll save Fuuka." I whispered back.

Akihiko falls into laughter. "Do you think you can do anything, Minako?" "We'll save Fuuka." He mocked me. "You can't even fight, you won't last ten seconds inside that place!" He continued laughing. "I get it now." Resumed he. "You're **suicidal**! You've always been! If the world depended on you... we'd long be dead..." Akihiko's image contorted as a siren-like sound commenced ringing in my ears. Darkness became bright and the walls caved into each other as every object in the world around me seemed to spin and mesh against endless colours and shapes and sizes. Powerful nausea hit the pit of my stomach and the stench of rotten flesh seeped into my lungs forcing me to succumb to the ground and hurl a yellow-white liquid into the exterior realm in a slow, painful torture.

A hand touched my back and I shuddered.

"Easy." Said Natsuki. "That was quite a trip. If I wasn't used to such things by now, I probably would have joined you on your qualm."

 _'Did she just admit to having a drug habit?_ ' I wiped my face on my sleeve and attempted to stand up. I would've fallen if Natsuki hadn't held me erect.

My head was still spinning.

"So this is what you call Tartarus..." She examined our whereabouts. "It stinks." She settled on that, after a few moments.

"Indeed." Muttered I. "Let's look for Fuuka." Said I.

"Yes." We started walking in an arbitrary direction, it seemed the whole place was in constant movement, the walls, the ceiling, the ground, they not only fluttered irregularly and sometimes quite strongly, but their colours and mass kept blending and warping like a sickening haunted ride.

"Here." Said Natsuki, handing me the Evoker. "It's best you keep it. I-It's yours after all." She smiled sheepishly.

"Hmph." I took it in hand.

An interference-like noise started ringing in my ears.

"Ow!" Exclaimed Natsuki. It seemed she could hear it, too.

"-are you? -ako? -there?" No complete sentences could be made out, but someone was definitely trying to contact us.

"Hello? I can't hear." Uttered I, aimlessly. "Let's move, Natsuki, maybe the signal will get clearer."

We kept moving in a seemingly random direction when Mitsuru's voice chimed in my ears.

"Can anyone hear me? Akihiko? Minako?"

"Ah!" Natsuki exclaimed.

"I can hear you, Mitsuru."

"Oh, thank God! Where's Akihiko?"

"I don't know, we got separated. Do you know where I am now?"

"Not exactly, but I know you're getting closer to another potential resonance. I estimate it to be Miss Yamagishi."

"Fuuka?" Blurted out Natsuki. "Where is she?"

Mitsuru's voice acquired an amused tone. "I see you found Miss Moriyama, Minako, good job."

"Thanks." Said I, awkwardly.

"I can't pinpoint Miss Yamagishi's exact location, but if you continue heading in that direction it's very likely you'll encounter her, or someone else with the potential, like Akihiko."

"Ugh! Akihiko..." Natsuki rolled her eyes in disgust.

"Roger, Mitsuru, we'll keep searching then, over." I cut communications, though I knew that was probably not how it worked and Mitsuru could still hear us, I decided to ignore the breach in privacy for now and focus on the mission. Natsuki was also eager to proceed.

"What's that?" Natsuki pointed onwards. There was an aura-exhuding round figure in the distance.

I strained my eyes. "It feels like a Persona."

Natsuki ran towards it. I followed closely.

"Fuuka!" Hollered Natsuki, approaching her. A green haired girl was laying inside a round glass sphere that seemed to be attached to a Persona. _'Hers, no doubt_.'

The Persona was clad in a crimson red gown, her head wrapped around in bandages that also covered her eyes and forehead. Still, I felt as though it was looking at me, even though Fuuka seemed unconscious.

"Her Persona is protecting her."

"She's sleeping." Exhaled Natsuki, relieved.

"We're here to help." Said I, looking at Fuuka's Persona.

Her mouth opened. "There is an enemy nearby. He won't let you leave." Her voice was heard inside my head.

Natsuki raised her head and uttered: "You're saying we have to defeat it, and then you'll entrust Fuuka to us?"

"Correct." Responded the Persona.

"What if I just stop his movements? Won't that be enough?" Asked I.

"What's the difference?" Asked Natsuki with indignation, turning to me.

I ignored her and stared sternly at the Persona instead. "It would be enough." Replied she.

"All right. Where is it?"

The Persona pointed to her left at the intersection. We headed that way and stopped at the corner. I peeked into the room and spotted the stairs leading up, alongside a Shadow flying around it.

The Shadow was a winged humanoid clad in deep purple, a mask covered his face completely, even the eyes. In his right hand he carried a staff-like weapon with various rings attached to its extremity.

Orpheus transmitted his knowledge to me inside my mind. _"It's a magician. Agile and fast. It specialises in the illusory and the dark arts. Each of the rings on his staff corresponds to a different spell in his arsenal. Because we are opposites to him, we can easily affect him, but that goes both ways."_ _'So it's better to have a distraction. I could use Natsuki, but... what if she got hit? It's too dangerous to try.'_

"What are we waiting for? We have to do this." Said Natsuki. "We have no choice." Added she.

"Take off your shoes." Commanded I. She raised her eyebrows, then shook her head and obeyed.

"Take a look." We swapped places and she peeked around the corner. "We're gonna jump at him and you're gonna throw your shoe at him. Then wait five seconds before you throw the other one, okay?"

She swallowed hard, nervously. "I got it." Uttered she, raspily.

"All right. Go!"

She jumped from behind the wall and ran towards the Shadow. I mimicked her exact actions two metres behind. The Shadow turned towards us floating in mid-air. He shook his staff in preparation of a spell, then Natsuki's left shoe flew in his direction, forcing him to cancel the chanting and evade the projectile.

"Orpheus!" I shot myself in the head in order to summon him. Orpheus appeared before me and strummed his lyre elegantly.

The Shadow's face shook erratically and he began decreasing in altitude. He took his hands to his ears to try blocking the sound but in doing that, his hold on his staff weakened and it fell to the ground.

Natsuki approached the staff and quickly took it in her hands. I felt a drop of sweat dripping from my forehead, I wouldn't be able to keep Orpheus playing for much longer, and I also didn't have the power to subdue the Shadow for an extended period. This was the best I could do. And it wasn't enough.

I cursed myself mentally and started losing focus. My magic weakened as the Shadow landed on the ground and began creeping towards me.

"Minako!" Shouted Natsuki, frozen in place, gripping the staff tightly. "Minako, what do I do? Minako!"

The Shadow increased his pace with every step and every vein in my head felt like they were about to burst. I felt my arm going numb and expected my legs to soon follow. I clenched my teeth in desperation and hollered the last thing I expected to say: "Fight!"

With the last of my strength I threw the Evoker towards Natsuki and fell down on my knees. Orpheus vanished.

The Shadow removed his hands from his ears and took the last two steps towards me. His arm swung downwards and clutched my neck, forcibly raising me above his head. I gasped in stifling pain and wagged my legs about hopelessly while trying to reach his face with my hands. I succeeded in grasping the fabric of his mask and attempted to rip it away. This only enervated the Shadow who pushed his arm forwards, tackling my body to the hard wall. My arms and legs went limp as I started to suffocate helplessly.

"Haa!" A shout. The Shadow's body was thrown to the side, rolling on the ground until it stopped. I fell weakly to the ground without moving.

"Minako! Hang in there, Minako!" Uttered Natsuki.

I took my trembling hands to my neck and cried from the pain while coughing dryly.

"Mother Harlot!" Shouted Natsuki, summoning her Persona. My eyes were closed and I didn't see what she did, but I knew it was over when Natsuki took me in her arms and embraced me, attempting to soften my suffering.

"It's over." Said she.

After a minute, I got used to the pain and started drying my tears. I made my way back to Fuuka with Natsuki's help and laboured breathing.

Fuuka's Persona thanked us and touched my forehead with her index finger, immediately, my pain decreased considerably, and I felt as though I'd taken a stimulant as renewed energy seemed to course through my body. My arms and legs were still stiff and at that time I thought I'd never forget the sensation of my throat being crushed, but at least I wasn't feeling completely drained anymore. I still wanted to get outta there as soon as possible, so as soon as the Persona disappeared I uttered: "Let's hurry."

Natsuki took Fuuka's body and carried her as we made our way to the stairs.

Before going up, I spoke: "Here, turn her around, take her arm like this." I held her right side upwards.

Natsuki took her left side and we carried her up the stairs.

The floor looked deserted and a strange machine glowed on the far off wall.

I didn't know how to contact Mitsuru, so I simply spoke her name aloud.

"Mitsuru? Mitsuru, can you hear me?" I received no response.

I decided to approach the machine cautiously, but I had a feeling as to its purpose. I'd heard Junpei's tales in the dorm about how he thought he was almost done for until he came across what he called a life-saver and ''teleported'' back safely.

"I think this machine's gonna teleport us back." Said I.

"You think?" Uttered Natsuki, more worried than accusatory.

"It's our only chance." Uncertain how the device worked, I touched Natsuki's arm and pushed the biggest button on the machine before me.

A colourless light enveloped our bodies and a high-pitched sound rang in my ears, I felt momentarily breathless and a feeling of emptiness swept through my head, jumbling my consciousness and muddling my sense of reality. I stood frozen before the machine for what seemed like an eternity, without being able to form a single cohesive thought. I felt as though I was dead.

Then I inhaled and the world returned to make sense. Taste, sight, touch, smell, sound, all kicked in at once as I was brought back from my inertial state. The first thing I registered was the battle that seemed to be occurring right in front of me. Two huge Shadows were brandishing swords and conjuring elements in a fierce struggle against Yukari, Junpei, Mitsuru and Akihiko, who fought back with their own weapons and Personas.

Taken by surprise, I failed to notice as Fuuka was starting to come to.

She gasped in surprise when she noticed the situation before her. "What is this?"

"Fuuka! Are you okay?" Natsuki held Fuuka in her arms.

"Natsuki!? Where are we? I was at school, and then..."

"This is the school, but... it's in a diferent dimension..." Fuuka displayed a confused expression. "Look I don't know everything, all right? But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're safe..."

"Natsuki..." Started Fuuka, miserably.

"I know... What I did was horrible... I know... I'm horrible! And I know you will never forgive me... even though I regret hurting you..."

Fuuka looked down and muttered: "Natsuki... do you...?"

"My ony hope of atonement is to protect you!" Natsuki placed Fuuka beside me and I held her up, Natsuki took two steps forward, facing the Shadows. "Minako..." She started without turning back. "Thank you." Then she rushed into the fray to fight alongside the others.

"Miss Moriyama?"

"You?"

"Who?"

Natsuki shot herself in the head. "Mother Harlot!" Yelled she. The Persona that appeared was a skull-faced woman carrying a golden cup, wearing a purple robe and red hood, mounted on a quadrupedal seven headed winged beast with ten horns and a long tail.

"Whoa!"

"Persona!?"

"Holy-!"

"Death Lust!" Commanded she. Mother Harlot swung the golden cup at the Shadows and a purple coloured liquid was poured onto their bodies, corroding their skin and making them cry in agonising pain. Their actions momentarily suspended, Natsuki proffered yet another attack: "Antichthon!" Mother Harlot's beast proceeded to impale both Shadows with its ten horns from its seven heads.

Natsuki fell to the ground, exhausted. Mother Harlot vanished and the Shadows were expunged. Breathing heavily, she uttered: "I did it!" Then lost consciousness.


	6. Hypocrisis

**Capitulum** **VI** : **Hypocrisis**

"There is just one thing I want to ask you... Do you regret what you did?" Said The Chairman.

 _'And a very difficult question, at that_.' "Partially, yes, although, if I had to do it again, well... I believe I'd have no choice." I paused, then I took a deep breath and articulated: "I don't regret saving Fuuka. I don't regret finding Natsuki before the police, or you guys. I don't regret teaching her about Personas or helping in her awakening. I don't regret going against Akihiko, and I still don't regret rejecting your offer."

He smiled in acceptance, as though he understood and approved of my actions. Then he looked to his left for a second and turned back to me with a frown and a serious tone. "Once a week. You will go into Tartarus once a week. I'm not asking anymore. When people have power and they don't train it, they become dangerous, to everyone around them, and to themselves." In a concerned tone, he added: "You summoned your Persona in broad daylight, you could have died." "I won't have that in my conscience." Said he, authoritatively. Then, he stood up from the chair and walked towards the door. "You will adapt." Uttered he, before leaving the hospital room.

-/-

"You're the last person I want to see." Uttered I, when Akihiko crossed the room towards my bed.

He halted before the chair beside the bed. "Really? I was just trying to protect you." Said he, calmly.

"Fuuka could've died because of you." Said I, with disgust.

Akihiko shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. Fuuka could've died because of Moriyama, the one you were condoning." He pointed at me.

"That doesn't mean she deserves to die." Rebutted I.

He frowned. "Of course not. She deserves to be punished." Said he, with his eyes cast downwards.

"She's already repented."

"Not in the eyes of justice." He put his hands up in the air and continued: "Look, I know where you're coming from, but this kind of behaviour can't be excused, neither hers, nor yours."

"Then you'll be glad to know I'm already being punished... I'll have to go to Tartarus." Said I, furiously.

"I'm sorry... but you deserve it." He walked away.

-/-

"Is this what you meant, when you said there were other ways you could help?" Asked Yukari, bluntly.

"Is that sarcastic?" I was twitchy.

She widened her eyes. "No! I'm serious, who do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry, Akihiko was just here and he gave me an earful." Said I, frustrated.

"I'm not like them, I'll never say what you did was wrong. You were obviously correct."

"Really?" I was surprised. "I'm glad." Said I, sincerely. "But now it doesn't matter anymore, I'll have to go to Tartarus." Uttered I, morbidly.

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean, you'll get some experience."

"But I don't want it! I don't lust for blood, I don't want excitement in my life, I don't want to be part of something bigger, or any other bollocks!" I was angry again.

She sighed. "We're going in circles."

I looked down and muttered: "Right."

She inhaled. "Look, I'm glad you did what you did, I'm glad you helped Fuuka and Natsuki, and I'm glad you'll be coming to Tartarus with us from now on." She stood up from the chair. "We need you, Minako." Added she.

I shook my head in disbelief.

-/-

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"I'm alright, I'll soon be out of here... Fuuka... about Natsuki..."

"I know... she's being sued for bullying." Said Fuuka, solemnly.

"Fuuka, she..." Started I.

She shook her head slowly. "I accepted. I accepted her apology. I think... I think she expiated when she... and you saved me." She looked at me determinedly. "I'll make sure no harm comes to her."

I was surprised with Fuuka's kindness. "You have a beautiful heart." Said I, before I could stop myself.

Uncertainty manifested in her features. "Thank you...?" Said she, with embarrassment. "This is gonna sound strange, but... have I touched you before?"

"Wha..." I gasped in realisation. "Your Persona touched me. It reinvigorated me, it's certainly a great ability."

"Hmm... that's not really how it works..."

I tilted my head in confusion.

"Rukia gave you a bit of my life energy. You must have done something worthy of her trust." She smiled.

"Well, Natsuki did most of the fighting, I just got beaten up pretty badly... My guess is that Rukia felt sorry for me." Said I, light-heartedly.

She giggled. "It is also a possibility." She motioned towards me and inclined her head closer to me. "You don't mind if I take back what's mine, do you? I mean, I've been kinda missing it..." She consciously made a sad face.

"No, no, by all means...!" Urged I.

Her smile returned. "Thank you, Minako, now I see what you meant." She moved her hand closer.

"What I meant?" Asked I, nervously.

The tip of her index finger touched my forehead. "About my beautiful heart..." My vision went dark as I fell into slumber.

-/-

"How can it be that I'm feeling even worse than before?"

"I guess you've been living on borrowed life, my friend." Remarked Natsuki.

I laughed. "That's what it seems." She laughed.

"How's the law?" Asked I, carefully.

"Doing its job, as always." Replied she, non-chalantly.

"Do you agree with it?"

"I wanna say no, but I do, I do agree."

"Natsuki..." Started I, in lament.

"I can't believe I was so dumb, and so heartless, I can barely forgive myself. Maybe if I suffered a bit..." She chastised herself.

"You've suffered enough, believe me..." I tried to assuage her by touching her arm. "I'm gonna put in a good word for you."

"You... You're a better friend than I deserve, you know that?" Said she, in a heartfelt way.

"It's nothing." Dismissed I.

"I'll be better. I swear I'll be a better person." Said she, determinedly.

I nodded. "Fuuka will be glad. She believes in you."

She looked upwards in ponder. "I'll make it up to her."

-/-

"Minako." Stated she.

"Mitsuru-senpai." Stated I. My eyes were fixed in the blanket over my legs.

"I spoke with Yukari." Started she. "Actually, we've all been discussing about what to do next." She stared at me, intently. "I know it's scary. I was even younger when I..." She sighed and shook her head. "Tell me how you feel." She spoke softly.

"I'm furious. I was robbed of any choice." Said I unemotionally.

She closed her hands in fists and started, her voice slowly escalating: "To truly live you will have to make changes sometimes." "I made many, Yukari made many, Junpei made many, Akihiko made many," she paused "Natsuki made many..." She stood up from the chair and motioned towards the window. "If we don't make changes there will be no tomorrow. I'd rather... I'd rather become despicable if it means I'll still be alive." She neared me and placed a hand on my cheek, raised my head and looked into my eyes. "I know you don't agree with me, but you know what, I don't agree with myself either."


	7. Munus

**Capitulum** **VII: Munus**

"You seem to be here every day." I looked up towards the source of the silky voice. A senior. "Is it the stillness of this place, or the books that bring you here?" Asked she.

I studied her. Tall. Her arms at her back, head inclined downwards, pale skin, sporting a friendly expression, her lips faintly curved inwards, narrowed-eyed, though forcefully. Her long wavy hair seemingly frozen in place, as though made of ceramic. "I guess... it's the fact that nobody bothers me." Answered I.

Her expression slightly changed, her brows arched upwards, her lids opened a little further, revealing more of her hazy pupils. Her lips lost the indications of a smile and now seemed to vaguely converge at the middle, in a somewhat pensive state.

"You're absolutely correct." Whispered she. "I love this place for the exact same reason. Please enjoy your time here, as much as you want." Added she, sounding seriously heartfelt. She turned around swiftly and quietly walked away.

-/-

And so it began. My descent into madness. My ascent into torture.

I'd spent the whole day in dread over the certainty of what would happen that night.

My dreams were still haunted by the deep-purple-clad Shadow who'd brought the prospect of death just a bit closer to me.

It made me sick. It made me hopeless. It made me want to die.

"Minako!" Someone called me. I took note of my surroundings. I was still in the classroom, even though classes had ended long ago. I must've been too terrified to even move. "We've been looking all over for you!" Said Natsuki. She was followed by Fuuka and both were smiling.

Fuuka noticed my pale face and asked: "What's wrong?"

I tried to clear my mind of tribulations and answered: "Nothing to worry about. So, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Natsuki grinned. "I'm clear."

"How fortuitous!" Exclaimed I. "We must celebrate!"

"That's not all." Said Fuuka. "We're moving in today."

"Moving in?" Enquired I.

"To the Iwatodai Dormitory!" Announced Natsuki.

"Really? That means you... have joined SEES...?"

"Yeah, I mean, Tartarus totally sucks, however... I believe it's my duty to fight, because I have this power, and because I must redeem myself." Said Natsuki, with determination.

I looked at Fuuka regretfully and began: "Fuuka, you don't need to do this..."

She looked just as determined. "I want... to see to it... that Natsuki's safe," confessed she, "and you," added she, "and everyone else who's putting their lives in danger."

I couldn't help but smile melancholically.

Natsuki joined my arm in hers, then did the same to Fuuka's. "Let's go, people, let's party!"

I sighed in defeat. "Let's go, I guess...!"

They started laughing and I soon joined them.

-/-

When evening came, I helped them carry their belongings to their respective rooms. If I could protest to their enrolling, I would, but I couldn't, not when I felt so happy just for having them around in this place that isolated and alienated me for how many months. Our carefree chatting kept my thoughts away from the imminent situation. But as always, it wasn't forever.

Eventually the hour came when the darkness would engulf me.

"Minako." Uttered Yukari, slowly.

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Can I ask you a favour?" _'Desperate times..._ '

She studied me intently, then said: "Sure."

I uttered weakly: "Can you hold my hand?" _'Desperate measures_.'

Her brows shot up in surprise. She opened her mouth various times but ultimately produced no sound. She looked down and slowly moved her hand towards me. I reached for it and our fingers brushed together. She shuddered at the contact and her hand involuntarily retreated. I stepped forward and gripped it with increased strength, her knuckle pressing against my palm. Slowly, she relaxed and our hands slipped into a more comfortable position with our palms facing each other.

I stared at her and asked: "Is this all right?"

She swallowed and replied: "Yeah... Let's go."

-/-

We stopped at Tartarus's entrance area and Mitsuru explained our roles.

"So far it's been Junpei, Akihiko and Yukari exploring the floors while I use Penthesilea's abilities for analysis and orientation from here. From tomorrow onwards, Yamagishi will train under me and Moriyama will join the exploration team. From today onwards, Minako will be coming to Tartarus once a week to better prepare her for unavoidable dangerous situations and to strengthen her Persona, wasn't that what we agreed on, Minako?"

"Yes, Mitsuru." Responded I, gravely.

"Now, before we begin, I just want to make sure... You really don't want a weapon?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mumbled Junpei, almost inaudibly.

"That's right." Said I, in a strong tone. "No one can force me to sully my hands."

"It's okay." Mitsuru tried calming me. "We already agreed you'd be using only your Persona, that's not going to change, ever."

I nodded and attempted to reestablish my breathing.

"Well then, Yukari, I'll leave it to you." Said Mitsuru, cryptically.

Looking confident, Yukari uttered: "Got it."

"Lead on, Akihiko." Mitsuru turned around and walked towards a motorcycle.

"All right, people," started Akihiko "let's redo floor twenty tonight."

"But hadn't we stopped on twenty-seven?" Whined Junpei.

"Yeah, but I remember seeing a big locked chest in between floors twenty and twenty four, and with that key we got from The Hand..." Started Akihiko, excitedly.

"I got it, let's go!" Shouted Junpei, running towards the Teleporter.

"Heh." Akihiko grinned.

We stood in front of the machine and teleported to Tartarus's twentieth floor.

-/-

In the maze known as Tartarus, demonic entities known as Shadows roam the vast connected floors known as Blocks.

To climb up, we must fight.

The more you fight, the more you grow and tire.

The more you grow, the stronger you become.

The more you tire, the more it hurts when you're hit.

The stronger you are, the cockier you'll become.

The cockier you become, the more you'll be hit.

And the more you're hit the faster you'll **die**.

Tartarus is torture. Tartarus is death.

Tartarus is to live. To live is to die.

I didn't confront anything directly. I always kept my distance from the enemies. I was always shielded by someone for I was always vulnerable while I chanted. Even if I could confuse one foe, there was rarely a single one. And there was always one that insisted on targeting me. And there was always one that seemed immune to everything I did. Many times I thought I would be eaten alive, or burnt alive, or frozen alive, or shocked alive, or slashed or pierced or struck or cursed or killed. Yet, I wasn't. I wasn't.

Either a punch, a clobber, or a transfixing arrow in the nick of time saved me from perishing. Yet, my legs continued to tremble.

And inside me, Orpheus continued to weep.


	8. Maestitia

**Capitulum VIII: Maestitia**

I caught my eyes roaming about, scanning the library. They stopped as arbitrarily as they seemed to have started, and set upon the frame of a single person sitting a few tables away from the corner of the room. The girl from the other day, she seemed focused on her reading. _'So there you are.'_ I unconsciously swallowed. I'd been thinking ever since then about how unnecessarily harsh I might've sounded, and why would I act in such a way to a complete stranger. I struggled to blame it on the circumstances, while the truth of my temper could be explained by the adversity state I've come to know in these past few days, I didn't want to believe I had become such an unempathetic individual based on external forces alone. _'I am responsible for my actions._ ' The thought suddenly struck me. _'Its gravest consequences are on the mind, indeed. Like regret, or guilt. I must preserve my sanity, and with it, my character._ ' I turned my eyes back unto my book. _'Great, but how do I do that? How do I save myself from apathy?'_

It seemed no more reading could've been done today. I got too distracted with reality to continue. Instead, I looked up again, this time directly towards that girl. She was staring. She was now staring fixedly at me. From this distance, her eyes seemed a dark shaded grey, although that was an illusion, I'd seen 'em before, close to me, the light-grey contrasted in the window-side, illuminated section of the library, it was her most striking feature, and it remained on my mind as the most memorable. And for that, I couldn't look away. Her expressionless eyes and her neutral smile prompted me to wonder just what could be going on inside her mind in this instance. _'Could she be having an internal struggle trying to decide whether or not to approach me? Could she be balancing the pros and cons of reattempting a conversation, based on past results? Maybe she's just silently cursing me, convincing herself I'm exceeding in cruelty.'_

I scoff at my usual over exaggeration of hypotheses, if such phenomena is occurring for such a banal happenstance, I wager it would be best to simply extinguish the notion of probability and _what ifs_ and resolve the unknown by confronting it posthaste. I closed my book and steeled my determination to go over there and introduce myself to her, make up an excuse about last time and inquire about her own proclivity for reading and the like. That's when, once again I'm caught off my guard when I notice her advance.

"Last week... I didn't mean to disturb you." Said she.

"Don't worry, you didn't." Said I.

"Did I act oversensitively?" Asked she.

"You did." I smiled.

"I hope you can forgive me."

"I can. But the world..." I looked to my left, in ponder.

"The world is a scary place." Whispered she.

"Is that why you hide inside a school uniform?" I looked in her eyes. They widened in surprise. She opened her mouth as she was about to say something, but before she could, I continued: "Why you consider your choices made?" I raised my left hand and faced it, closing my eyes. "Although born with free will, you don't use it, you don't even claim it, weak as you may be..." After a moment, I turned back to face her.

"...That wasn't meant for me..." She slowly stated.

I shook my head. "It's something I'd like to say to myself. If I'm ever brave enough." Said I, solemnly.

"You seem to be a sensitive person as well."

I nodded.

"I'm Saori Hasegawa." She extended her hand in greeting. Even though she wasn't a foreigner.

"Minako Arisato." I squeezed her hand in greeting. Even though I wasn't a foreigner.

-/-

"No one else is here." Said I, scanning the empty court.

"No, you're the only one who came... Why did you come?" Asked Rio, serious.

I responded non-chalantly: "I'm starting to enjoy volley..."

"And...?" She asked briskly.

I shook my head. "It's your turn." Said I.

She swallowed hard. "I was walking past the spare room a moment ago and I... ended up overhearing something." She breathed heavier. "It was Kenji and Professor Kanou. They seemed to be getting along great, if you know what I mean." She frowned. "They're teacher and student and still..." Her angry eyes brimmed with tears.

I unconsciously formed a fist with my right hand.

"Why... Why'd he choose someone like her... Why... wasn't it me?" She began crying.

I clenched my fist and dig my nails into my palm.

"I... didn't know I was such a nasty person. I've got these terrible feelings inside me... I hate myself... What is wrong with me?" Uttered she, while sobbing.

I forced myself to say: "It's because you like Kenji." I felt hot liquid dripping between my fingers.

Rio scoffed. "How stupid of me."

"Try confronting them." Said I, raspily.

"Like that's gonna make a difference..." She started drying her tears.

"You think it's wrong, don't you? Unethical."

"Yes, but... I don't know if I'm willing to go that far." Said she, weakily.

"To truly live you will have to make changes sometimes." I looked to my right. "Or else you'll become a **hypocrite**." Said I, unemotionally.

"That's... harsh... Is it your philosophy?" I showed her my scornful face. She sighed. "I understand... I'll try..."

I felt a stinging pain in my eyes. _'I need to hurry.'_ "Well, I'll be going, then." I hid my hand behind my bag and walked off.

"Bye." I heard her say.

-/-

I inhaled sharply when I felt the cold water trailing down my hand and into my flesh. The inescapable tears that ran down my cheeks a moment ago were now but dry traces on my face. _'The red in my eyes and the red in my hand complement each other_.' Remarked I, melancholically. It hadn't even hurt, I ruptured the skin of my own palm and it wasn't even painful. At least, not physically.

"Here." Said Edogawa, unrolling the bandages. I extended my arm and he proceeded to wrap my right hand in them. "How did that happen?" Asked he, in dull tone.

"I don't think it's any of your business." Stated I, dryly.

He shook his head disapprovingly. "Reckless kids..." Mumbled he. "Change them at least twice a day. Can you one-hand it?"

"I'll manage."

He shrugged. "So you say..."

I left the room.

-/-

When I arrived at the dorm, all I wanted to do was go to my room, all I wanted to do was lie down and cry, all I wanted to do was close my eyes shut and never open them again. But once again my wishes were denied.

"Minako." Called Mitsuru, as soon as I stepped into the foyer. "How are you holding up after Tartarus?" Asked she.

"I'm fine." Uttered I, emotionless.

"It's normal if you feel more tired than usual." Said she.

I nodded. I was holding my bag with my left hand and trying my best to keep my right hidden.

"Well, if everything's fine, then I won't hold you up any longer." She returned her attention to the book she held open.

I quickly made my way to the stairs and went up to the third floor. I noticed Yukari, sitting on a sofa, doing absolutely nothing.

She saw me and went stiff. "Hey." Said she.

"Hey." I approached her.

"I... wanted to say I'm sorry. I see now, how hard it is for you..."

"Are you saying I'm weak?" Asked I, defiantly.

She exhaled. "Do you always do this?" She furrowed her eyebrows. "Take everything to an extreme...?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Look who's saying!" Confronted I.

She shook her head violently. "Minako! Think!" "You... You always do it, don't you?" Uttered she, sadly.

I mulled over her words. "It's not my fault, I think..." I turned my back to her as I remembered Rio's confession. "...I can't help it..." My hand stung, my eyes stung.

I heard her moving behind me. "What happened today?" Asked she, worriedly. "Did you hurt yourself?" I looked down at my bandaged hand. "Did **someone** hurt you?" She rounded me and stopped in front of me.

Drained of will, I whispered: "Yeah... both..." I blinked and felt the familiar sensation of tears trickling down my face.

"Minako..." Brooded she.

I sobbed.

She inched closer and embraced me.

Many minutes passed while I cried on her shoulder. Then, when I had calmed down, we separated and I uttered raspily: "Thank you."

"For being blunt and making you cry?" Asked she, slightly smiling.

I shook my head indulgently. "You helped me out last week, too. And I'm pretty sure you saved my life a handful of times inside Tartarus."

Yukari's face became somber. "I was just doing my job."

I cast my eyes downwards. "I know, but I'm still grateful." Studying her, I asked, in a cautious voice: "We are friends, aren't we?"

Yukari's face went blank and she nodded. "Yes."

I inhaled. "Well then..." I turned away and started towards my room.

"Your hand..." Spoke she.

"Don't worry. It was nothing."

I turned the knob, opened the door, entered, then closed it. Then fell on the bed.

-/-

How lucky I am to be left handed. How lucky I am to be able to control my emotions so expertly. All it took was a bit of pain and blood, but my face steeled in indifferent expression even as my throat dried and my head went feverish. How lucky I am to have my heart broken instead of my hymen.

How lucky I am to harbour a freak within. To **be** a freak myself.

How lucky I am to feel pain. And how grateful I am for the relief it brings. At least, for the mind, or the soul.

I gazed longingly to my right hand. The clean bandages I applied this morning before coming to school enveloped it protectively.

And the pain I didn't feel neither now nor then. How lucky I am my self injury is already healing. How lucky I am to be alive.

At least, nobody bothers me. At least, I'm left alone. Though, is that really a good thing? Is this a contrary world I'm living in? Is mine a contrary existence I'm forced to command? Am I in contradiction to my self? My own self...?

 _'Who am I?'_

" **Minako** , hello."

I looked up towards the source of the voice. Surprisingly, I found myself inside the library. _'When did I even get here?_ '

Saori stood before me, exuding her usual calm demeanor and friendly smile. She kept both hands at her back. "Hi..." Uttered I.

She sat before the table in front of me and revealed what she kept hidden behind her. A book.

"Odysseia..."

"I just finished this yesterday, what a thrill!" Said she.

"So what's your favorite line?"

"Line?" She looked confused.

My features lightened as I realised the situation. "Ah, so you read the prose one..."

She cast her eyes downwards. "It was the one they all recommended..." Started she, lowly.

"Poems're where all the soul is in, although, in this age, no one cares about that anymore." I inhaled as I felt a surge of inspiration. "With their cell phones and twitters and instant messages, word cap and clear meaning, the rush of the flow of time and the now and new lived in much hurrier fashion, the past, along with its customs and garnishments forgotten after only a quarter of minutes into its lifetime, soon to be replaced by the people who live today as the following day."

The second after, Saori was dumbstruck, only to recuperate as quickly and speak, agog: "Your insight is quite precise, but at the same time, embellished by your oratory, it becomes a work of art deserving of preservation."

"Are you talking about... writing it down?"

"Or recording it." She placed her hand upon her chin in contemplation.

I scoffed. "I thank you for appreciating my words, but really, that's all they are. What I said about the world and the people of this era, it'll only get worse, and it'll come a day when nobody like me will exist anymore." I swallowed hard, thinking about my previous ponderings on death. My own death. "That is fact." Ended I.

"It is sad." Agreed she. "Minako!" She half-exclaimed. "What happened to your hand?" She spoke briskly. My brows shot up in surprise. My right hand rested on the table. _'When did I put it there?_ ' Noticing my shift, she started: "Oh, I don't mean to question you... I-I mean, if you don't wanna tell..." She looked away. "I mean... I'm sorry."

I shook my head and couldn't contain a chuckle. "I..." I exhaled and thought about Rio, for the first time without feeling regret. "I had an accident." Uttered I, calmly. Saori turned to look at me. "The pain is gone now." _'I hope._ '

"Can you..." she started in a small voice. "recommend me some poetry?" She stared into my eyes. "Or rather, tell me the ones you like?"

I searched the haziness of her pupils. Nothing. I found nothing there. Except a tiny reflection of my own image. Staring back with those crimson eyes. How can a fiery colour feel so cold? Was I really becoming more corrupt with each passing day? Was I really metamorphosing from an autonomous butterfly to a captive moth? Surrounded by my own poison? Hurting myself and everyone around me? And whose fault was it if not mine? Whose could it be, if not mine? _'It is mine.'_ Reckoned I. _'It is._ '

I blinked. "Of course." Answered I. Saori glowed in anticipation. She **glowed**.


	9. Iter

**Capitulum IX: Iter**

"...So, that's what happened on the night of the 7th. It was a difficult operation." Stated Mitsuru.

"I see. They're getting tougher... But, it's not all bad news. I called today's meeting because-" Started The Chairman.

"I'm sorry. Before we go on, I'd like to ask Mitsuru-senpai something." Interrupted Yukari. Mitsuru set her gaze upon Yukari, who continued: "Since I joined, so many things have happened... I went along with it, without really understanding what was going on. But now I need to. Mitsuru... you've been hiding something from us, haven't you? You act like you don't know anything about the Dark Hour and Tartarus, but they're related to that accident ten years ago, aren't they?"

"Accident...?" Uttered Junpei.

"There was an explosion near our school, and a lot of people died..." Explained Yukari. "It must've been big news back then. You know about it, don't you?" She asked Mitsuru.

Without breaking eye contact with Yukari, she answered: "Yes."

The room was set in a somber mood.

"And around the same time, a large number of students were recorded as absent. Those students all collapsed suddenly, and had to be hospitalised." Uttered Yukari.

Their silence was an admission of their guilt.

In accusative tone, Yukari demanded: "What really happened that day? The Kirijo Group built our school, so you must know something! Tell me the truth!"

Mitsuru looked away and exhaled. "I wasn't trying to hide anything to you. It just never seemed relevant. But..."

"Do you want me to...?" Started The Chairman.

"No, I'll... I'll do it." Mitsuru looked to each one of our faces and spoke: "I'll tell you the whole story. The Shadows have many mysterious abilities. Some research indicates that they can even affect time and space. We think of them as our enemies, but what if we could somehow use them to our advantage? They would be a source of unimaginable power, wouldn't they? Fourteen years ago, one man pursued that line of thinking... He was the former leader of the Kirijo Group, Kouetsu Kirijo... My grandfather." Revealed she. "He was... obsessed with Shadows. He wanted to harness their power, and create something extraordinary."

"Is that even possible?" Muttered Fuuka.

"He assembled a team of scientists, and over several years collected a significant number of Shadows in order to answer that question."

"What!? Damn, that's mad stuff!" Uttered Junpei.

"However, ten years ago, during the final stages of the experiment, they lost control of the Shadows' power. Consequently, the nature of the world was altered. Tartarus and the Dark Hour were born."

"Wait, why did our school turn into Tartarus?" Asked Natsuki. Mitsuru fell silent.

"Because... that's where they conducted the experiment." Said Yukari, raspily.

Fuuka gasped in shock. I looked up towards the ceiling.

"Just as I thought, all we've been doing is cleaning up the Kirijo mess!" Shouted Yukari furiously.

Mitsuru stared fixedly at the wall to her left. Her pupils trembling.

"Yukari... It's those in the past who are to blame." Said The Chairman calmly, trying to pacify the situation. "And they lost their lives as a result of what they did. We're all in the same boat, here. None of us deserve the burden that's been thrust upon us."

"No..." Mumbled Mitsuru. "There's still one left..."

"What?" Uttered Yukari.

Mitsuru swallowed hard. "The man who entrusted me with this knowledge. The man who lives in search of redemption for his father's atrocities. The man who **conceived** SEES, and myself..." She spoke sadly.

Yukari neared Mitsuru, who, sitting down, turned her head briskly to her.

The Chairman stood up in haste. Yukari halted.

"Take me to him..." Yukari started, in monotone and gradually heightened its emotional intensity. "All of us...! We, who risk our lives everyday, we've the right to meet your father, and to ask him so much more...!"

Quietude.

"All right." Whispered she.

-/-

"Please sign my petition!" He uttered as I was walking down the hall. I looked at him sideways, and stopped when he approached. _'Make it fast, please._ ' I pleaded mentally. "Please, mademoiselle!"

"And what's it about?" Asked I, uninterestedly.

"Tell me, do you like the nature? The greenery of leaves and purity of tree sprouts?"

"Um..."

"Isn't it relaxing, such a place? Isn't it inspiring, such a sight? Aren't plants necessary, for our mental and physical health?" Fired he, in rapid succession.

"I guess..."

"Then sign my petition!" Demanded he. "Or else they're going to demolish the courtyard, and all you'll see inside these walls from now on, is grey." He settled down just as fast as he had started ranting. _'Master actor?_ ' Wondered I. _'Or just confident in his beliefs_?'

"Well, I guess we do have enough grey already." I grabbed the pen he handed me and signed my name on the paper.

"Merci beaucoup!" He bowed and left in haste.

As I continued down the hall I pondered about what transpired. _'Only a few people signed the petition_ ,' recalled I, ' _I_ _guess, in the end, it might not work out after all, and the demolition will probably follow unhindered.'_ I went down the stairs and halted, then turned right towards the gym and stopped in front of the courtyard. It had been a long time since I took this path. I looked down at my right hand. Completely healed. Not a scar left from the incident. _'Yes, that was the last time I attended practice. And I vowed to never return.'_

I made my way through the leaves and branches of the trees in the courtyard. One tree looked especially large and old, and it took central ground in the small grass field. Just then I realised the significance and importance of this place to me. _'I met Natsuki here._ ' The memory surfaced clearly in my mind. _'I guess she was my first friend in this city, besides Kenji..._ ' A bitter taste formed in my mouth and I decided that was enough reminiscing. _'Bah, I shouldn't have come here after all, this school is cursed and filled with pain!' 'Fitting!' 'Just fitting!'_ In my mental rant, I failed to notice the foreign presence approaching.

"Minako?"

I shivered, startled.

"Don't sneak up on peo-"

I froze. My tongue froze and my teeth clenched, a millimetre forward and my tongue would've been hardly bit.

I wasn't angry. I didn't feel anger. I was afraid. I felt afraid and vulnerable. As though I faced an enemy who could hurt me just by looking at me.

I felt **repulsion** by that person.

"Is everything all right? It's been so long... I came to tell you that things have gone back to normal now, at least, as normal as before." She laughed. "So if you ever want to return... and actually have fun this time..."

I opened my right hand and placed it on my left arm, crossing them. _'Not making the same mistake._ ' Thought I. "I'm not going back, I found more important things in my life right now." Uttered I, raspily.

Rio smiled. "In a way, I kinda envy you for discovering that so quickly. I thought it was right to sacrifice everything and devote myself to the club... No matter how tough things got, knowing I was getting better and showing results would relieve my suffering... But I had forgotten something very important... To be myself."

I sighed. "I gotta go..."

"It sure feels like it. Like you're going away on a journey, and no one's allowed with you. But I want to help you, like you helped me."

I shook my head dismissively. "I'm fine."

She produced a worn-out book from her bag. "At least, take this. It's a beginner's guide to volleyball. I used to read it all the time when I first started playing. It gave me so much inspiration back then... I hope it serves as a reminder that you're not alone."

She extended it to me. But my arms were crossed. She stared into my eyes.

"I confronted them." She spoke somberly. "I called her an immoral bitch." She added angrily. "And I told him how I felt... And all the while I kept thinking about your words and what they meant. Then I realised how alike we are. You too, have someone you care about, don't you? That's why you understand me perfectly. That's why... I insist." She touched my arm with the book.

I uncrossed my arms and took it from her hand. I examined the cover minutiously. But in reality, my thoughts were far away.

"Thank you." Uttered she. My right hand formed a fist unconsciously, but as soon as I closed it I forced it open again with shaky fingers.

I looked up and said: "Bye."

"Bye." Echoed she.

 **I** walked away.

-/-

Evening, almost everyone is gathered in the lounge. Normally I wouldn't partake in such distasteful reunion, this time however, the matter concerned myself as well. Yukari and Mitsuru stare intently at opposite directions as an awkward silence fills the room...

Akihiko arrives last. "Sorry, I'm late. So, what's the deal?" Asked he.

"Then I'll go straight to the point." Said Mitsuru. "Because of school and Tartarus duties, it's very difficult to find time for all of us to gather and... discuss the nature of our situation, not to mention my father who is an extremely busy man as well as... discreet." She exhaled in frustration. "What I'm trying to say is... we will only be able to meet him during our summer vacation."

"All right, I don't see a problem." Said Akihiko.

"And we will have to travel to Yakushima."

"What!?" Exclaimed Junpei.

"We have a vacation home there, it's protected, and exempt of watchful eyes, it's the only place we'd be able to meet without attracting attention.

"Seriously!?" Exclaimed Junpei. Everyone looked at him expecting protest.

Instead, he shouted: "We're gonna go on a trip!? Yes! Beach babes, here I come!" excitedly.

Yukari sighed. "Men." Uttered she, disaprovingly.

"Hmm, the beach... I should design a special training regimen." Started Akihiko.

Fuuka gasped. "I have to go buy a swim suit!"

"Hey, don't worry, I've got an extra pair you can borrow." Said Natsuki.

Fuuka chuckled. "It wouldn't fit me, though." Natsuki laughed.

"Are you going to swim too, Minako?" Asked she.

"I'm afraid I don't know how." Stated I.

"What, really? Hey, I can teach you!" Said Junpei.

"I don't want to learn." Uttered I.

"What if I teach you, Minako?" Asked Natsuki.

"Um..."

"Me too, I want to teach you too, Minako!" Chimed Fuuka.

I laughed. "Well, if you two will help me, then I guess it won't be so bad." Said I, lively.

Junpei grumbled. We all laughed.

As I looked around I realised Mitsuru and Yukari were nowhere to be found.

-/-

I took a sip of my cappuccino.

"I'm glad it's still the same. I mean, physically, it seems the same. Is it one hundred percent now?"

I set the cup down and answered: "Yes, for the fifth time, yes."

"Sorry... I just... I was worried, is all." Saori nervously stated.

"I promise I'll be more careful from now on."

She smiled. "Any plans for summer break?" Asked she.

"Yeah." I responded immediately. Saori looked curious. "I have to go to this... trip everyone in the dorm is going to. All the way to Yakushima."

"It sounds nice to me... but to you it didn't, I reckon. Why?"

"It's about the people, you know, the people in my dorm. They're just so focused on their own worlds. Sometimes, I feel like all they do is march ahead, not caring if they trample on someone's body, or someone's belongings, or someone's... dog."

"What?" She laughed unfalteringly. I joined in.

"I'm just kidding. I'm accustomed to the wonted bother by now. It's not so bad when you have friends. It took me so long to realise that."

"That's nice." She exhaled. "I'm afraid... you're my only friend."

"Really?"

She looked down, smiling weakly. "Yeah."

A moment went by, and then I asked: "So what are you going to do?"

She took a sip of her coffee. "You know, read a book, or twelve."

"Why don't you try new things?" I slowly asked.

She pondered. "Like what?"

"Maybe... learn a completely foreign thing..."

"Like a language?" Inquired she.

"No... I mean, more like..." I produced a worn-out book from my bag. Then held it in front of her. "Something completely outside the norm for you. How about it? Think of it as a challenge. A task from me."

She took the book from my hands and leveled our gazes.

"How could I say no to you?" Uttered she. I smiled unconsciously. "Challenge accepted!" Said she, determinedly.

"I'll test you when I get back." Encouraged I.

She nodded. "I'll show you how it is to be a true master of volleyball."


	10. Interludium

**Interludium: Mitsuru**

"Father... where have I erred?"

"Erred? You haven't erred, Mitsuru. The fault is all mine. The blame is all mine. The shame is all mine. Wasn't that what you told them all? Wasn't that what you told **her**?"

"Such a hot-headed girl, I read her right since I saw her for the first time." Said I, incredulous.

"She is utterly dissonant with your own calm personality, Mitsuru. Yet, you couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"That would be impossible." Uttered I, ashamedly.

"It would be." Mocked he. "They said the exact same thing when your grandfather proclaimed we'd prospered on our own after Kei became the heir. It **was** possible. We prospered." Stated he.

"Grandfather was mad throughout his whole life."

Father smiled. "He knew it. And enjoyed it. By the way, we've successfully fused Ideal Energy and the Plume of Dusk into one." My brows shot up in surprise. "We're testing it in the newer model."

"What about Kegare?" Asked I.

He slowly shook his head in denial. "Kegare is still only functional in inanimate objects. And every attempt to harmonise it with Plumes of Dusk was unsuccessful. They corrupted and canceled each other."

I sighed. "How unfortunate. So our only hope is on the android, eh? It's disheartening when we remember it already failed once."

He lowly cackled. "Have some faith in Ikutsuki, he's brilliant."

"About The Chairman... are you sure it's wise to grant him complete control over the project? From what I heard, not even Kei..."

"Don't question my decisions, Mitsuru, not yet." Interrupted he. "Maybe in a decade or so when I make you head, but for now, I deal with the business."

Deciding against pressing him any further, I conceded. "As you wish, father."

He inhaled. "I think it's time. Call them."

I nodded and left the room.

-/-

"So that means... my dad caused it all...? The Dark Hour, Tartarus... The people who died in that incident... It was all his fault...?" Yukari trembled.

"Y-You okay?" Asked Akihiko.

Yukari turned to me with fury in her eyes. "So that's why you were hiding this...? Because you felt sorry for me? Is that it!?" Shouted she.

Once again, it seemed I was the source of Yukari's anger. "No, Yukari, I..." I tried to rebut it, but I hadn't the words.

Tears formed on the edges of her eyes. "I don't want your pity!"

She ran outside.

Everyone was silent, a mix of sadness and worry on their faces. Minako, specifically kept glancing left and right, as if preparing to make a move. She inhaled sharply and turned around. I stopped her by uttering: "Wait. I... I must fix this."

I went outside.

Yukari was standing on the sand beach. The sea before her hurled and rose and fell. Intermittently. Irregularly. Disorderly. But it being so distant and wide, it being so natural and wild, it brought along with the water and the salt and the oysters, peace.

It was just the sea, after all, it had been there for years, and it would remain there for years to come and to go. It was immutable, in this chaotic and ever-changing world, the sea was forever the same. And its effect was calming. At least, to me.

"It's not pity." Spoke I. Her frame tensed, but she didn't turn around. "It's about your future. It's about passing down memories." My steps were silent in the sand, so I walked forward. "Do you think I enjoy telling people about my crazy grandpa who almost destroyed the world?"

Yukari scoffed. "It's always about you, isn't it?" I halted at her words. "Either way, I'm not angry because of that. I'm angry because she was right." Said she, sorrowfully. "You lie and invent reasons for people to fight." Accused she. "You force and distress people into believing they are the salvation of this world." She continued, angrily. "Who doesn't want to be a hero?" Muttered she.

Making sense of the situation, I resumed my approaching. "She... This 'she' is Minako isn't it? Are you friends with her now?"

"So what if I am?"

I was lost in the myriad of possibilities. "I... never thought this would... When I told you to stay close to her in Tartarus, I never imagined..."

"That we would bond? That her pacifist poison might seep into me?" Uttered she, raspily. "What do you care?" Asked she. "To you, we're just more victims of the Kirijo business model!" Said she, furiously. "Just more shame to be swept under the rug!"

"I truly don't think like that, Yukari." I tried to keep calm, unsuccessfully. "There's a reason why I'm with you all!" I felt my lungs stinging. "Why I go on Tartarus with everyone! And why I risk my life alongside all of you!" My throat felt clogged. "Especially you..." Whispered I.

She turns abruptly and finds herself standing mere inches from me. She gasps in surprise and falls down on the sand. Her eyes pierce me in disbelief.

I will myself to bend my knees and fall forwards, I stop my fall by hitting the sand with my open palms. My body now hovers hers, my head inclined towards hers, my eyes peering into hers.

"I fail in everything I do. I fail when I try to get close to you. I fail when I try to protect you. I fail when I try to comfort you. I fail when I try to confess to you. Tell me what to do, Yukari. Tell me how to become a person whom you don't hate."

She slapped my cheek. I kept facing right.

"You saying I hate everyone?" Asked she, unnerved. "It isn't true." Added she, calmer.

"I didn't mean..."

"I know what you meant. I just want you to tell me one thing." She waited. I turned my face back to her and held her gaze. "Why me?" She plainly asked. Her face devoid of anger, or any other emotion.

I felt moistening around my eyes. "Would it be too narcissistic if I said it's because we are so much alike?" Whispered I. "And would it be too contradictory if I said it's because we are so incompatible?" I smiled unconsciously. "I just feel all tingly when I see you, Yukari." My tears finally trailed down my face. "I can't explain." I frowned.

She showed a sad expression as well. She closed her eyes and whispered: "Hold me."

I pierced the sand with my arm and pressed her body to mine as I sat up and placed my head beside her neck. She rested hers on my shoulder.

After a few moments, I whispered: "I'm sorry."

"I know." Said she. "I'm sorry, too."

She jumped when she heard the noise from my wristwatch. I was startled by it as well.

"What the hell!?" Uttered she.

"Oh, sorry about that, it's my Dark Hour alarm." Said I, standing up. "It will start in five minutes, we better go back inside." I extended my hand to her.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion, then chuckled lightly and grabbed my hand. "Dark Hour alarm... that's so... so you..." A chagrined smile.

I looked down, suddenly becoming self-conscious and noticed I was still holding her hand. I didn't want to let go. I didn't know what had happened tonight, if anything at all happened, but I knew I didn't want to part with her yet. Alas, she motioned it back and I let go instinctively. I turned my gaze back to her and noticed her aware look.

"We'll talk tomorrow." Said she, seriously.

I swallowed hard. "Good idea." I nodded.

She started off towards the house. I quickly ran my hand through my face and learned my tears had dried off. I inhaled deeply and marched towards the house. I passed beside Yukari but didn't glance her way. I swallowed again as I felt saliva accumulating in my mouth due to nervousness. I contorted my facial nerves back to my usual expression and steadied my breathing to normal levels.

I'd show **all** of myself to Yukari, I'd scream and plead and cry, I'd be flustered and angry and sad, I'd swear my undying love to her how many times were necessary, I'd giggle and I'd grin to her, for her. But not anyone else.

To everyone else, I'd still be Mitsuru Kirijo. That's what it means to be heir. That's what it means to be me.


	11. Rursus et Prorsus

**Recto: Minako**

 **Capitulum X: Rursus et Prorsus**

Creak. The familiar creak of the familiar doors. Through it, the familiar foyer of the familiar dorm.

Within, the familiar carpet on the familiar floors. And above, the familiar air in the familiar rooms.

Beside me, the familiar banter of the familiar people, and inside me, the familiar sorrow of the familiar solo.

And I noticed as they grew closer to each other. I noticed as they grew distant from myself.

And I noticed as their bonds seemed to only strengthen, whereas mine would keep on shattering before my very eyes.

I made so many concessions, and changes, and sacrifices since I came here.

I tried to be like them, I tried to be with them. But it seemed there was one thing I wasn't able to change.

My seclusion.

I was still... I felt still... I lived still... in isolation.

And my resentment now turns towards myself, because I tried, because I hoped, because I believed. Because, somehow, I'd enjoyed my brief time when I wasn't alone.

And now I missed it.

I headed towards my room and on the way I mindlessly planned for the coming days of summer vacation.

-/-

"It's been about twenty days." I uttered lively, into the device.

She sounded surprised. "That long? I've been... training so hard I didn't even realise it."

"Do you think you're ready?" Asked I.

"No. But I wanna see you anyways." Said Saori.

 _'Funny way of saying it.'_ Thought I. "Me too." I replied honestly. "How about tomorrow?"

"Great." Said she, enthusiastically.

 _'Great..._ ' Thought I, in deep pondering.

-/-

I arrived at Port Island Station with a torrent of thoughts flooding my brain. It pertained to the current situation, and for that, I didn't expunge them, instead I immersed myself in them, desperately trying to form a cohesive line of events.

I met her in a bad place. Not that the library is a bad place, no. I was in a bad place. I was anxious about going to Tartarus for the first time. I dreaded the unavoidable. And I loathed the circumstances but even more the people who forced me into it. I felt incredulity and also hopelessness. We became acquainted over the weeks following and found our mutual interests worthy of discussion and contemplation. We shared our thoughts and learned a great deal about one another. Before we noticed, or rather, before I noticed, we'd already become friends.

But there was always something odd. There was always a lingering feeling of uncertainty. The unknown was always present whenever we interacted and due to my lack of ability in interpersonal occurrences, I'd never been able to pinpoint exactly what. Though, somehow that had never bothered me, quite the opposite, I think it unconsciously lured me deeper. In order to unravel such a mystery, the only choice was to convert the unusual into habit.

And that I did. I disclosed to her more about the things I liked, about my day-to-day experiences, about my theories and philosophies, about my feelings and emotions. I eased into our conversations. I relaxed into her company. I anticipated her participation, often praising me and elevating my self image.

And that made me sad. That made me feel horrible. That made me turn away from my own reflection because I couldn't bear to see the monster I was turning into. Because I knew. All along I knew. For there was a voice inside my mind that whispered every now and then. It whispered the things I wish I could ignore, and tried, tried so hard, but was ultimately impossible. I knew what Saori really thought about me. I knew how Saori really felt about me. I knew why Saori really comported the way she did around me. And I knew the words that would come out of her mouth the next time we'd meet. And I also knew what would be my response to them.

I knew it would make her cry.

I looked to my right and saw the peaceful plaza. I looked to my left and saw the ever bustling movie theater. I didn't move an inch for I'd already spotted Saori when I first turned to the right. She now walked towards me and I feigned my surprise and proceeded to approach her.

"Hi." Uttered I.

She hugged me without hesitation, saying: "How are you?"

I smiled after we parted. "I'm actually dying to see what you've learned. I've honed my skills in Yakushima but I'm sure a genius like you will fare much better than those guys."

"You played volley there?"

"Yep, on the beach, movement on the sand is actually very different than on a court, it's supposedly harder."

She pouted on purpose. "That's not fair, there are no beaches here!"

We both laughed.

"If that's how it is, then we're gonna have to go to Gekkoukan." Said she.

"Then let's go." Said I, calmly.

She smiled and once again did something unexpected. She grabbed my hand and led me back to the train.

-/-

Gekkoukan Gym, Volleyball Court.

Saori has the ball. She serves on the edge of the field, then rushes to its middle.

I defend it with a dump. She blocks it offensively. I pass to my imaginary teammate who is also myself and hit it.

Saori jumps to defend and when it's hurled over the net, I spike it one-handedly. It hits the ground.

I score. **What** did I score and why?

Why did I give Saori Rio's book? Why?

Why did I force her to learn this sport that I don't even enjoy, this activity that brings me only bad memories? Why?

Why am I here with her, instead of here with Rio, trying again? Trying to show her how much better I am than Kenji? Why?

Because I'm not. I'm not any better than Kenji. In fact, we are grossly similar. All we're doing is living our lives. All we're doing is focusing on ourselves.

Who does that remind me? Obviously, fittingly, the people of SEES. The contradictory, ironic personalities of each and every one of its members. The self absorbed, praise entitled, hero wannabes that claim to be sacrificing themselves for the greater good when the only need they feed is their own greatly inflated egos.

So I'm a pretender. What a revelation. As well as a deceiver. Another replication. And also a heart breaker. Such exaltation.

The adrenaline I used to feel in this court is gone. Replaced by emptiness.

The challenge I imposed on myself by coming back here, holding this ball again and aiming over this net again.

These walls. These white lines. This movement. Right, left, right, left. Can't stand still. It was the first thing she said. The first lesson. You must always be ready to jump to the right, or to the left, or forward, or backwards. But not too much! Not too much...

It is too much. No warm up in the world would ever prepare me for this, and as per instructions: never start before you're ready.

Never play before you're ready.

Never try before you're ready.

Never fail before you're ready.

Never be ready before you're ready to be ready.

Sitting down on the bench, we rested.

"I think we just broke every single rule of volley." Said she, in between breaths.

I shook my head in denial. "I'm sure we did." Uttered I, raspily.

She exhaled. "How did I fare?" She turned to look at me.

"Are you tired?" Questioned I.

She swallowed and thought for a moment. "Kinda." Answered she.

I nodded. "Then you were all right."

She smiled. "I need to tell you something." Spoke she, calmly.

I could feel my heartbeat accelerating. _'No... No... Saori..._ ' I pleaded in my thoughts. _'Why me? Why you? Why can't we just..._ '

I kept a neutral expression and shut my mouth.

When she realised I wasn't going to say a thing, she continued: "So... can you come over to my apartment... now?" Her hazy pupils were unreadable.

 _'No.'_ "All right."


	12. Numerus Unus

**Capitulum XI: Numerus Unus**

"It was really dumb of me, wasn't it... a one on one match..." Scoffed I.

She giggled. "Not at all, I learned a lot!" Said she, lively.

"I wonder what..." Muttered I.

Saori retrieved the keys from her pocket and motioned in front of the door. After ten long seconds, I heard the sound of it turning, unlocking the way into her apartment. She opened it carefully and turned to me, smiling.

"Make yourself at home." Uttered she.

I walked through it and discarded my trainers using solely my feet. Saori went ahead after taking off hers, left her purse on a chair in the living room and started: "Would you like some tea, or coffee?"

I followed her. "Do you have iced tea?" Asked I.

She nodded. "Of course, in this heat..." She entered the open kitchen and perused the fridge.

I sat on the couch and set my bag on the carpet.

 _'This city... This city alone is enveloped by the Dark Hour. And the shadows only exist here... If we defeat all the full moon Shadows, Tartarus and the Dark Hour will vanish. Nobody knows what'll happen if we leave them alone. But none of that changes the fact that I never wanted to get involved in this in the first place.'_

Saori returned, served the tea and sat on an armchair in front of me. She held her cup with both hands.

I took the tea-filled cup and drank as much as I could in one go. My teeth ached at the cold contact and my head went blank of thoughts and sensations.

Looking at her, I smiled and said: "I'm curious about what you wanted to tell me. So... what is it?"

As though taken by surprise, she exclaimed: "Oh, yeah. Of course... I..."

Saori fidgeted. I sat back and waited.

She placed her cup at the side table and looked towards the window.

"They... rented this apartment for me..." Started she, gravely. "Because I pestered them." She looked around. "One day, I just called them together... and in front of them..." She looked in my eyes. "I declared my hatred for them. I explained how much I despised their mannerisms and doctrines, calmly, I cursed them, and myself... for being born." She paused. "So I want to ask you, Minako... You, who lost your parents... What do you think of me? Who willingly separated from mine, as soon as I gathered the courage?"

I closed my eyes and thought. For a while, I thought.

"Of course." I blurted out. I eyed her again and continued: "You did it because it was right for you. I don't think you less because of that."

She half smirked. "I knew you'd say that..." Exhaled she. "You're incredible... I adore you."

For a second, her words seemed normal and their meaning didn't register. She stood up in haste.

"Saori...?" Uttered I, confused.

"I adore you." Repeated she.

My brows shot up in surprise. My legs self-erected and I found myself standing up.

"I used to feel so alone... only me and the books. You brought me such happiness... You made me feel so small... It's a good thing! Who am I before the world? Why should I try to change everything when the only thing that matters is myself? But to me, you're the only one that matters..." She smiled as tears fell from the edges of her eyes. "I want to be with you... forever. I would do anything to realise that."

I swallowed hard and looked down. I made out the window at the corner of my eye. "It's a nice place you got here." Spoke I, calmly. "Would you leave all of this behind, for me?" I gazed back at her.

She showed a puzzled expression.

"That trip... was harder on me than I foreshadowed... I saw things that... you wouldn't even believe me..."

She inhaled sharply. "Of course I'd believe you... Minako, I trust you more than anyone in the world..." Said she, coming closer.

"They're criminals, they run this city, and people die because of them!" Saori was apalled. "They even have a robot... machine... Fucking Kirijos!" I shook my head rapidly from side to side.

I felt her hand on my shoulder. "What are you going to do?" Asked she, worriedly.

"I need to leave... I need to leave this island."

-/-

"Minako... you know I'm with you all the way..."

"I know." Stated I.

"But if we're going to do this, we need a plan." Started she, cautiously.

"All right." Affirmed I, in haste.

"Where are we going?" Asked she.

I paced back and forth in the living room. "Anywhere that's not here."

"What about school?"

"Fuck school." Said I, hurriedly.

She exhaled in frustration. "What about our belongings?"

"Fuck the material world." Uttered I, freakingly.

"Minako!" Yelled she. "Get serious, we can't... we can't..."

I turned briskly. "What!? What happened to 'I'll do anything'?" I questioned angrily.

"This is different!" Pleaded she.

"Is that how it is?" Defied I, then started walking away.

She rushed to me and held me from behind. "No, please... Minako... I love you... please, don't leave..."

I slowly sighed. "I'd rather die than go back to that dorm."

"No..." Whispered she.

"But don't worry... I'm not dying... I'm going... away." Said I, determinedly.

I loosened her arms and turned around. I placed my hand on her face and whispered: "Come with me. It's time to change. It's time to say: 'to hell with everything else'."

She nodded apprehensively. "All right." Whispered she.

I hugged her tightly.

-/-

Ever since that one time, I knew, something was being kept hidden. The way he talked, the way he dressed, the way he moved. An informant? Cut it out. A friend? Didn't seem like it. A renegade... someone who was once on their side, someone who left, quit, escaped. _'But who? Who was that guy? The man I saw in Akihiko's hospital room all those months ago. Someone on the outside with inside information about the Apathy Syndrome. Just who?'_

 _'And how could I possibly find out?'_

"How did he look like?" Asked Saori.

"A gangster, a punk, or something like that. With a beanie and an overcoat."

She stood in a pensive state. "What places someone like that could possibly attend?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "No... it's about time. At that hour..." I suddenly realised.

She tilted her head to the side. "What hour?"

I shook my head. "Late at night, but... leave that to me, you be ready to do what I told you to."

"But Minako..."

"I know what to do..." Interrupted I. "I'll be fine."

She sighed. "All right. So I'll just have to unlock this door at twenty-three fifty?"

"Yeah, then lock it again at double-oh five."

"And you're not gonna come in?"

"No."

"But your luggage will be here?" She had that nervously confused expression.

"I know it sounds crazy, but believe me, that's what's gonna happen." I touched her chin with my fingers. "Do you believe in me?"

"Yes... yes, Minako..." I smiled. She smiled back.

-/-

I just noticed now, under its green light, how big and bright the moon seemed tonight. Although not yet full, the occasion fast approaching.

In the Dark Hour, where everything is dark, the moon shines still.

It would be beautiful if it wasn't so dreadful.

And today I was going out and into the streets.

In search of the mystery man. I know he will be roaming about. Especially since those new rumors, about kill contracts, permeated the city's social venues. _'For freedom.'_ I told myself. _'For me.'_ Reasoned I.

Everyone's at Tartarus. And the dorm is empty. I have less than an hour. I hasten my movements.

Sound swiftly propagates on the empty roads. The Dark Hour's atmosphere creates echoes of my every footsteps. Easy to track, easy to feel and pinpoint. Still, the island was giant next to me, and I would never be able to course it in a single hour, much less find a living, breathing, moving, minuscule person in its entirety. That's where my one and only ability proved useful.

I shot myself in the head.

Orpheus appeared before me.

It wasn't all for nothing. The Tartarus grind. It revealed some handy skills to me.

"Golden Link!" Shouted I.

Orpheus's lyre transformed into a cymbal, which he struck with his fist, sending it to the ground, where it fell horizontally and emitted a high-pitched noise that echoed through the buildings in sound waves.

We concentrated on the silence and waited, expectantly.

Orpheus turned his head right a second before me and pointed in that direction.

In my mind waves, a visible vibration stemmed from far away.

Something or someone was moving.

-/-

It would be impossible not to notice, given my fast approach.

Standing and at the ready, the figure uttered: "Who's there? What do you want?"

I halted aways before him, though the darkness concealed our identities. "I wanna speak with you... You're that man, aren't you?"

"Woman?" Reckoned he, surprised. "What do you mean? How are you awake?"

I walked to him slowly until I managed to discern his facial features. He looked wary.

"You... you're that guy from the hospital... in Akihiko's room."

He strained his eyes. "You're one of the girls..."

"I need your help." Said I.

"Help? Look, I'm not..."

"I'm trying to quit SEES." I interrupted him.

He looked surprised.

"And I'm also planning to leave this city." Continued I. "From my deductions, you used to be SEES, didn't you? Why did you quit?"

Silence. After a minute, he spoke: "I didn't quit, I was kicked out. And I don't know how I'd be able to help you, or even if I want to... It's true I hate those guys, but... in the end, I'm still here, aren't I?"

Distressed, I spoke: "Isn't there a way to escape this? I don't know what else to do..."

"Wait, why do you want out?" Asked he.

"I don't like fighting. And now I know for sure... I don't like the Kirijo Group."

He grinned. "Well, I don't know him personally, but... I heard about a guy who also hates the Kirijo, and if I'm not mistaken, it also involves Shadows and all this shit you claim to dislike. Maybe he could help you out."

"Who is he? Where is he?" I asked, hastily.

"That's the thing." His grin widened. "The only ones who know are the Kirijo themselves. I'll give you a hint, though, he's known as **Japan's Number One Man**."


	13. Nihil

**Capitulum XII: Nihil**

Molecules. Matter. Liquid. Solid. Button.

The button is solid and can be touched.

The button is solid and can be pushed.

The button will cause an electric current to traverse the cables and pipes and reach the transformative machinery that will use the electricity as a source of sound.

The button is matter.

The button matters.

I stand in front of the door. Yet another solid object.

Yet another object that matters, even though it isn't alive.

So is it made of molecules?

Am **I** made of molecules?

What about feelings and sensations? Are they just nerves, just energy flowing into the brain?

The energy I feel at the tip of my finger when I press the button...

Oh, I pressed the button...

Oh, electricity flowed, both inside and outside.

Oh, now the sound.

The sound that is a reaction from pushing the button.

Well, accordingly, the next reaction would then be...

The door opening.

And Saori's face.

But also her eyes. With her eyes, she can see my face.

And on my face she will see nothing but failure.

And this flawed image that will haunt her, as it's haunted me ever since I saw it in the mirror.

The mirror... The mirror that is also a door... or maybe... maybe not...

I feel the warm liquid trickling down my face, and the image before me, Saori's face, becomes distorted until I finally shut my eyes and weakness takes hold of my body. I fall on her arms, and as I'm trying to make sense of the situation, I start blabbering: "Nothing... There's nothing else... There's nothing... I can do nothing... There's nothing... nothing I can do..."

-/-

I dried my tears. "That's what happened... You see, there's nothing..."

She shook her head while holding me. "We're gonna find a way... I have an idea..." She separated from me and headed into a room. She came back moments later with a briefcase. As she was unzipping it, I started a sad laugh. "I already tried that... there's nothing..."

"There's something I know you didn't try. Asking for help."

I swallowed unconsciously and realised I was taken aback.

"I know all about you, Minako. You're my passion. And even though you never said it, I know you're very individualistic. The prospect would never even cross your mind, would it? It's okay... That's why I'm here, to complement you... to make you whole..."

"You say it in a really sadistic way, you know?" Uttered I, raspily.

She smirked. "It's deliberate."

She powered up the laptop and started the internet browser.

"Twenty-first century, Minako, our greatest weapon is the internet."

"Really? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Mocked I.

"I wager you must've run a basic search on _'Japan's Number One Man_ ' and found nothing worthy, am I right?"

"Actually, I found a lot of information on The Emperor, but, I doubt he has beef with Kirijo, you know, just saying." I smiled.

"Yeah, I guess it's time for the forums!" Exclaimed she.

"Forum? Like a round-table discussion?"

"Oi, stop living in the past! Forums are like online chat rooms in which people discuss certain topics..."

I narrowed my eyes. "Like a round-table discussion..."

"Yeah, but you were thinking about it physically, like in ages past!"

"Whatever." Shrugged I. "But I doubt there're any forums like that, Saori..."

"Well, we can just create a topic... Let's see... 'Category'... 'People'... 'Important People'... 'Contact Information'... I guess that's about in line of what we want..." She clicked the links away and various empty spaces appeared on screen. "Now we write the first message... How about... 'I'm looking for a man who claims to be Japan's Number One Man, anyone know who he is?'...?"

"Sounds good." Chimed I.

"And... sent... now we wait."

"What? How long?"

"Who knows? Might be a day, might be a month..."

"Saori! This doesn't fix our problems at all!" Uttered I, angrily.

She looked down and said: "I know, but it's the only thing we can do..."

I mutedly cursed.

"Wait, what if we send the message again?"

"Umm, that would be spamming, I don't think it's a good idea..."

"What about other forums?" Asked I.

"Well, that's more sensible..."

"I wanna choose the categories this time."

"All right, let me enter another forum... Logging in... All right, categories!"

"Hmm, let me take a look..." I stared at the screen with the list of categories. "This one." Pointed I. "Paranormal."

"Paranormal?" She made a puzzled face.

"Yes, and also... 'Technology'... 'Science'... and 'People', of course."

She marked the boxes and typed the message. "All right."

I looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "Why does it feel like we're going nowhere?"

"Minako... maybe this is for the best..."

"Don't you start that again..." Said I, irritated.

"You may hate them, but they don't seem to hate you... yet. Maybe if we just lay low..."

I stood up immediately.

"Minako...!"

"I'll do anything... to be away from them even if they don't consider me a menace, because to them, everyone is the enemy."

I turned to her.

"Do you have any manuals for this forum thing? I got an old laptop I could use at the dorm, if I get the hang of this, maybe I'll obtain more information."

In an uneasy voice, she answered: "Sure... I'll go get it."


	14. Plaga

**Capitulum XIII: Plaga**

August sixth, less than a month left. If I didn't leave this city before classes resumed, I might not have another chance, as it would be much harder to do so when three fourths of my day would've been wasted at school.

I had to speed things up, however, much to my dismay, I found such a thing to be an impossibility.

Every day I'd check the forums and my e-mail and every day I'd cringe at the joke answers and _'don't know, never heard of'_ messages.

Every day I came up empty of hope and spirit.

And every day I cursed the gods from west to east.

Even on that day.

Even on the day I was abducted.

It all happened too fast at the time. One minute I was walking down the street, the next, my eyes and mouth were covered by some thick cloth, my back was hit by something and I fell to the ground unconscious.

When next I awoke, I was bound to a chair and blind by a fold.

My first instinct, to break free; I forced my arms against the ropes, but I froze when I heard a voice.

"Stop squirming." A cold, demanding voice.

I was gasping in panic.

"What? Cat got your tongue? Don't think you're getting out of this without giving us some answers." Uttered another voice.

"She's still unaware of her situation. So let's make her aware." Someone held my head and ripped the blindfold outta my eyes.

Light flooded my vision, until the silhouettes before me started becoming clear and I looked at the abductors.

A tall and shirtless pale man with white hair. And a shorter, juvenile-looking guy, blue-haired, clad in green, and wearing spectacles stood before me.

Finding my voice, I finally uttered: "Who are you?"

The one clad in green contorted his face in an expression of fury. "Who are **you**?" Yelled he.

"We're the ones asking the questions here." Said the pale man, calmly.

I clenched my teeth in anger.

"Answer me!" Yelled the one clad in green.

"I'm just a normal student, I don't know you guys." Spoke I.

"Bullshit! We tracked you out! Now tell me why are you so intent in finding this guy?"

 _'Tracked me out? So, they know...'_

"Finding who? I don't know what you're talking about!" Feigned I.

"Fucking bitch, I'm gonna..."

"Wait, don't be too hasty..." Interrupted the pale man. "I'm gonna explain it one more time and if she keeps the act, she's finished." He eyed me and said: "Now, we know you've been posting on those forums... about Japan's Number One Man... As to how we tracked you, let's just say we're more experienced than you with technology..." "Why do you want to find this man?"

"I heard... he's an enemy of the Kirijo..."

"What else? What else have you heard?"

"No... that was all, I don't know anything else..."

"Lies!" Yelled the one clad in green.

The pale man produced a revolver from his back, and asked: "Are you sure?"

My eyes widened at the sight.

"That's all I know!" Uttered I, disconcertedly.

"I think we should correlate this information..." Said the one clad in green.

"You do? Splendid idea!"

The guy clad in green moved to the right and the pale one moved to the left, behind them was an object as tall as me covered in black sheets.

The one clad in green removed the sheets to reveal a girl as old as me... _'Saori!_ '

I gasped in shock. He grinned.

"It seems she's still unconscious..." Started the pale man. "You're really sloppy, one day you're gonna kill them by accident." Uttered he, towards the one clad in green.

"Tch, and it would've been your fault, you know I'm not..."

"She's waking up, thanks to you." Interrupted the pale man.

"Don't you dare touch her!" Screamed I.

"Yeah? Then tell us what we want to know!"

"It's about... Shadows..." Started I.

"Shadows?"

"...and the Dark Hour..." Muttered I.

The pale man laughed. "I see. So you two are..."

"No. Just me." I quickly uttered, as Saori was coming to. "All I want... is to find Japan's Number One Man and ask him... to take me out of this city... I don't care what happens in here..."

"So you admit your friends are trying to eliminate the Tower of Demise?" Asked the one clad in green.

"Yes, that's exactly their plan." Declared I.

"Tonight the moon is full... You know what that means, don't you?"

"What is going on..." Saori started mumbling, still blindfolded.

"Yes." Said I.

"Chidori, what's the status?" Asked the pale man.

The one clad in green turned to him abruptly, surprised.

Behind me came a female voice.

"There's no doubt about it, it's deeper inside." Uttered she, in monotone.

"That means your friends are coming over." Said the pale man.

"She's crying." Whispered the one clad in green.

The pale man looked at Saori, then turned to me and said: "Talk to her."

I obeyed. "Saori, it's me!"

"Minako!" Cried she, in panic.

"Everything will be all right, Saori, if we just obey these people!"

"W-What is going on?" Asked she.

"Trust me and don't ask any questions, you're gonna be all right!" I shouted to her.

She continued crying.

"We're gonna release you, stay still and don't try to run." Said the one clad in green to Saori.

She nodded.

"And don't take off the blindfold." Ordered the pale man.

She nodded.

The one clad in green unknotted the ropes binding her to the chair and the pale man held her in place, gripping her arms, as she stood up.

"Ten seconds." Uttered Chidori, behind me.

"Five, four, three..." Counted the pale man.

Then, he let go of Saori and stepped back, the one clad in green mimicked the movement.

Time went still. The air stopped flowing. Dark turned bright and light turned black.

In front of me, dust and ashes flew high above the ground and converged in a single point, like a vortex, enveloping Saori as it circled her rapidly, the air around her turning solid, forming a casket with her inside.

"Wow." A bizarre spectacle.

The three gathered before me and the pale man spoke: "Our conversation will unfortunately be interrupted by your friends..."

"They're not my friends." Uttered I, fed up with the term.

"All right, we're gonna meet them here shortly, while you grab your friend and leave the premises, along with Chidori. We'll meet you later and continue our discussion."

"Why? Why are you suddenly playing nice?" Asked I, defiantly.

"Hey, don't push it!" Said the one clad in green.

The pale man smiled. "I believe it's simply... a case of enemy of my enemy..."

I sighed, more out of relief than anything. "All right."

"And don't even try to mess with Chidori, out of all three of us, she's the strongest."

Chidori kept her indifferent expression.

The one clad in green handed her a knife and she proceeded to cut my ropes.

I stood up and approached Saori's casket. It exuded an ominous vibe.

I felt a shiver as I touched it. Chidori came near and crouched before the casket.

"Grab it over there." Said she.

I placed my palms unto its front and felt its coldness traversing my whole body.

Chidori grabbed the lower side and pulled it. She stood up and held it sideways.

I mimicked it on the other side and we balanced the heavy casket above the ground.

We made our way to the large doors that led outside what I assumed was a warehouse of sorts.

The men opened the doors for us and I found myself near the coastline.

"This way." Said Chidori, steering to the left.

We carried the casket through the deserted streets for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, Chidori said: "Stop." And we halted before an apartment complex on a run-down part of town.

"Choose." Uttered she, emotionless. "We either bring the casket up the stairs and into our room, or we leave it here and guard it outside."

I examined the stairs leading up to the apartments. _'It would indeed be tricky to carry this upwards.'_ Thought I. _'And if we dropped it, there's no telling what might happen to Saori.'_

"I'm not chancing it." Said I, raspily. "Let's stay here."

"Good choice. My injuries are almost opening."

"What?" I looked to her hands and indeed, her wrists and palms were covered in bandages.

We put down the casket on the ground slowly.

"Why... why didn't you say that before?" Asked I, in a mix of worry and anger.

"What difference would it make? We had no choice but to carry it anyways." Answered she, indifferently.

I exhaled, nervous. Then looked away, and noticed the moon, finally full.

"They... are they fighting right now?" Uttered I, before I could stop myself.

"Who are you cheering for?" Asked she.

"To both... to both of them to kill themselves." I was drowning in contempt.

"How scary, you mean you'd like Takaya and Jin to die too?" Chidori sounded a tad amused.

"Is that their names? I didn't mean it like that... I... I just want **this**..."

"To end." Completed she.

I looked at her. She was staring right at me.

"What do you do... in this group? Why are you with them?" Asked I, genuinely curious.

"Why, because we're so alike, of course, not just because we have this power, but... because we want all this to end. So we can finally start something else."

"You mean... not just the Dark Hour or Tartarus... but... **all**?"

She looked down and brought up her hands. "You know... I did this to myself..." Whispered she, sadly. I unconsciously swallowed. "I was trying to end things with my own hands... But that's not the way. Everyone must work toward it. Everyone must wish it from the bottom of their hearts. Only then it will ever end. You might've heard about the revenge requests..."

"The kill contracts..." Reasoned I.

She nodded. "That was the first step for Strega, and for humanity."


	15. Ancora

**Capitulum XIV: Ancora**

"No, I have a right to know, you kidnapped me, for fuck's sake." Saori turned towards me. "Don't try to talk me outta this, Minako."

I put up my hands in compliance.

Jin exhaled in frustration. "That complicates things."

"All right, then, let's talk business." Said Takaya, ignoring him. "It seems your fr- I mean, it seems those SEES buffoons have come out on top again."

"SEES?" Questioned Saori.

"The dorm people." I elucidated quickly.

"But that's another story, the important thing now is that we conduct our exchange fairly to all here present."

"Yes, there's no need for violence." Stated I.

Jin grumbled in annoyance.

"So, Jin... in gesture of good faith, show them the files."

"What!? But what kinda negotiation is this? We're just gonna hand 'em our share outta-"

"In gesture of good faith, Jin." Stressed Takaya, irritated.

Jin cursed under his breath and disappeared from the room. Seconds later, he returned with a laptop and opened it in front of me.

"There's your guy." Spat he.

The screen showed a photo of a man on one side, and a description on the other.

"Nanjo, Kei; aka Japan's Number One Man." I read aloud. "Current leader of the Nanjo Group, his research into... allowed us more insight into the Tatsumi Port Island's phenomena and Head Scientists Takeba and Ikutsuki's advancements over... and... experimentation." The text was filled with blank spaces where words should be.

"The next part is his last known location. And that's all I managed to siphon from Kirijo's databases. To fill in the blank spots we would need higher clearance and actual identification impossible to obtain through hacking alone." Explained Jin.

I motioned my hand towards the keyboard intent on scrolling to his last known location, but Jin retrieved the laptop before I could reach it.

"First, you tell us what we want to know, then, we'll tell you where he is... or was..." Said Takaya, calmly.

"Fine. What do you want?" Asked I.

"It'll take some time... we should do this by e-mail... Besides, you have to rest and go back to the dorm tomorrow as if nothing happened. It'll take some acting."

"I don't like that plan, besides, we're not tired." Said Saori, defiantly.

Takaya grinned. "Maybe you're not, but she is."

"Minako?" Saori looked at me.

I smiled, trying to hide my exhaustion.

"Who do you think carried you all the way here?" Asked Chidori, in monotone.

Saori's eyes widened in surprise.

I stood up and grabbed my cell phone.

"You might be tapped, I wouldn't put it past them." Warned Jin. He neared me and handed me another cell phone. "We'll contact you through this one."

I took it and pocketed it. "Okay..."

"Do you live alone?" Takaya asked Saori. "If not, you can stay here."

"We'll be fine." Uttered she, grabbing my hand.

Chidori opened the door and we left their apartment.

-/-

"I trust you so much, but, sometimes... it seems you hide so much from me, it... it hurts..." She spoke, sadly.

"It'll all be over when we escape. This place is cursed, Saori. Those guys... Strega... they kill people, they're not different at all from the Kirijo, but still, I'm willing to deal with the Devil. Do you see how much I need to leave? Do you understand?" I tried, desperately.

"I'm trying, Minako, I'm trying..." She touched her forehead to mine. "I felt so afraid yesterday, that I would die... and I wouldn't have... I wouldn't even have..." She seemed in pain.

I moved my hand from her hair to the back of her neck and pressed my lips to hers.

She kissed back, and slowly more fiercely until I felt my mouth being filled with my own saliva and pulled away reluctantly. I swallowed and gasped for air. I noticed her doing the same.

I smiled when she looked at me nervously and hugged her tightly.

After a few comfortable seconds, I whispered: "Well, I gotta go back."

"Yeah..." Said she. We parted. "I hope we can leave soon. I wanna be away from this and... in a place where we can be together."

"That's my biggest desire." I professed, heartfelt.

She smiled, content.

I stood up and left towards the dorm.

-/-

Early morning when I took the train back. In my head, I felt sick from the overabundance of thoughts and possible scenarios.

What if they felt me there, last night? What if they were ready to jump at my throat and deem me a traitor? What if Strega betrayed me to them, or what if they never honed their agreement and never sent me Japan's Number One Man's location?

And while I'm thinking about Japan's Number One Man... Kei Nanjo... who exactly is he? Leader of the Nanjo Group? What kind of group is that? Aided the Kirijo with research in what I assume is related to Shadows, what if he's no better than the Kirijo themselves? What if he helped create this whole Dark Hour situation, and played a role in all those deaths years ago...?

What if, what if, what if? Why, how, who, will?

Too many questions, too many possibilities, no actual answer.

Only the door and my hand at the knob. _'Do I turn it?'_ I have no choice.

As I entered the dorm, I'm greeted with a familiar voice.

"Where have you been?"

"Hey, Akihiko, how's it going?" Replied I, trying to sound as natural as possible.

"Heh, funny, I believe I asked you a question, and you completely ignored me." He stood up, looking serious. "Where have you been?" Repeated he.

"I was at a friend's, sorry, mommy!" Mocked I, again, using cynicism to hide suspicion.

"And you slept there."

"Sure, is there a problem?"

"Yesterday was a full moon." Stated he, gravely.

"Seriously?" I feigned shock as genuinely as possible. "I didn't know." I looked down.

"Lay it off, Akihiko." Uttered Natsuki, stepping into the foyer.

He eyed her with disdain.

"Minako is free to do as she pleases, even in full moons, that's how it's always been." Continued she.

"I know." He sighed. "I was just worried." Confessed he, frowning. _'Wait, is that sincere?_ ' Wondered I, studying him.

"Yeah, I was worried, too." Said Natsuki, looking at me.

I smiled ashamedly. "Sorry, I'll keep an eye out and call you if it happens next time."

She smiled. "I'm going out, see you guys later!"

"Later!" Said I.

"Yeah..." Said Akihiko.

She left.

An awkward silence formed between us.

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry..." Started he.

"It's okay, don't worry..." I said quickly. "Well, good day." I said after a moment, and headed to the stairs.

"Yeah, good day..." I heard him say.

Getting to the third floor, I went straight to my room and shut the door.

Skepticism was abound, but at that moment I preferred to be hopeful, so I started scanning my wardrobe and choosing what I would be packing into my suitcase. I had a feeling the time of my escape was nigh. I almost mistook my shivers of joy for the cell phone vibration that started on my pocket.

I grabbed it in haste and unlocked it, revealing an e-mail notification from Jin.

"From: J1

To: ST2

Subject: Everyday Young Life

Message: How's it feel to be a W-Age? Respond ASAP so we can start the bz."

 _'I better respond to this ASAP._ ' Thought I.

"From: ST2

To:J1

Subject: Re:Everyday Young Life

Message: What a thrill! Not! Let's get this over with, what do you want?"

Sent. I waited. Until the response chimed in.

"From: J1

To: ST2

Subject: Re:Re:Everyday Young Life

Message: All right, here's what Tak wants: Full Name of all SEES members and affiliates, their abilities, strengths and weaknesses, and your progress status at the Tower of Demise. That's it."

 _'Assholes, they're making me a traitor in the worst sense._ ' I shuddered when I thought that my giving them this knowledge might be the same as signing those people's death sentences. But there was no need to tell the truth, if I lied, they would be none the wiser.

"From: ST2

To: J1

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Everyday Young Life

Message: I don't know the full extent of their abilities, and I have no idea about their affiliates. I need your word that after I send what I know, you guys will hone our deal."

Sent. I waited anxiously. I felt cold.

The response came after a couple of minutes.

"From: J1

To: ST2

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Everyday Young Life

Message: Send everything you know. We'll correlate with our own info and if everything checks out, we'll send his location ASAP. You have our word. You know where we live. (technically we also know where you live but whatever)"

 _'Fuck, suddenly, lying has become a very risky endeavor indeed.'_

Still, I had no other choice. No, I chose this path. I chose to betray everyone and everything, now I just have to follow through on my own word. I could betray everyone except myself. I will betray everyone except myself.

I inhaled sharply and started typing. The content was the journey to my doom. And the dream to my paradise.


End file.
